Happy Yule! Merry Solstice!

The winter solstice has arrived - soon the days will become longer and the nights shorter as the wheel turns once again to bring us out of the dark times and into the light at Alban Eilier.  This is a time of peacefulness, of introspection, of family and friends.  It is a time to evaluate the harvest of last year's seeds and start to think about what seeds we will plant this year to bring to fruition. 

My seeds include those for electricity and a water well, and the ultimate of course - hot showers!  But I also wish to plant seeds of hope and faith and tolerance too in these dark woods of ours.  So many thoughts swirling and whirling - for now is the time to begin the process, and to rest and rejuvenate from the hard work behind us.

May this winter solstice bring you much joy, laughter and insight into the next turn of the wheel. 

Making a "Home"

We've finally moved in to our little cabin in the woods - the home we have dreamed of and worked towards for over 10 years together. We may not have the inside all completed, or have electricity and running water (yet), but we have four solid walls, a firm foundation and a roof over our heads, and we did it together.

Looking out the windows at the beauty of the woods around us, I've realized that making our cabin a "home" took so much more than cutting, nailing, sawing and dragging - it's taken laughter and tears, hugs and encouragement, friends and animals, time and patience.

We have created sacred space, co-mingled blood and sweat into the very fibers of the wood, and established a starting point for a whole new journey together as we continue to grow and build and reinforce the sense of community, tolerance and acceptance that we live by every day.

This cabin is but one building, one step towards our full dream of making Pyrth Annwn a place open to all journeyors of a spiritual path. It is the hearth, the heart of Pyrth Annwn - the place of foundation for all of our future endeavors, and a place filled with love, compassion, friendship, laughter and above all - acceptance.

The coming of the equinox

And so it begins...from this day forward, the nights begin to gain ground on the days, and our sunlight lessens until the dark of winter embraces us once again. The Fall Equinox is a time of giving thanks - of recognizing the gifts that have been given to us this turn of the wheel, and the sacrifices we have had to make to get to where we are at this point on the wheel.

A lot of times, the sacrifices we have chosen to make are forgotten, but they are an integral part of what brought us to where we are today, and should be remembered. Even the smallest sacrifices have an impact on our journey.

In our tradition, we are asked to make one final sacrifice, in thanksgiving for the gifts the year and harvest have brought to us. A final reminder that nothing comes free, and that all advantages cost a price.

What will you sacrifice, in thanks for all the wheel has brought to you this year? With what material possession could you part, in order to ensure continued growth in the next turn of the wheel?

The Gift of Kindness

"When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people."
Abraham Joshua Heschel

This quote by Herschel touches my heart so deeply. In the past month I have had the priviledge to work with senior citizens on a daily basis - to play with them, laugh with them and cry with them.

They have been my teachers and my friends, my employers and my playmates. From them, I have learned so very much in such a short period of time, but the most important lesson of all has been the simplest - kindness. For when you give kindness, you receive kindness. The giving is a gift as much as the getting.

And it can be so simple a thing, kindness. A gentle hand, an assistance down a hallway, someone to listen as you tell a story, or someone to empathize as you cry over a memory.

Allow the gift of kindness to intrude upon your busy lives - let it come into your heart and bless your spirit. For kindness is an amazing gift of the spirit and of the heart - one that we all possess and can all share, if we choose to do so. Make the choice.

Making Time

As we enter into the time of early harvest, and hard work towards the main harvest at the equinox, we can tend to lose sight of the every day little things. We hustle and bustle to bring in the first fruits of our labors, to make sure we fertilize and water those crops still growing in preparation for the harvest to come in September - eyes always on the work, on what needs to be done, on the preparations for the long winter that is looming, just out of view, but never out of our heart's mind. That long winter when we will only have what we reap now, and what we can manage to accumulate now.

And so we run about, hilly nilly, completely oblivious to the simple pleasures we enjoyed just a scant few weeks ago, when our pace was slower, our minds more still, and our playful side more active. Now we are the parents, seeing to our responsibilities, making sure all is in line.

Is it right to deprive ourselves some small joys - to not step back, not even for a moment, and breathe in the smell of wet grass after a dewey morning, to relish the redness of a ripe tomato on the vine, to scamper with the animals through the forest and into the cooling of the river?

So many times, we compartmentalize our feelings, our desires, our needs. Now calls for this, later will call for that - don't act up now, there's too much to be done or we won't make it later. The dreaded chant of "Act your age."

Yes, our work now is crucial to our survival through the dark times - of that there is no doubt. But if we allow joy into our work, if we let the giggles and laughter of the summer permeate the skin of our labors now, won't the harvest be all the more sweeter for it in the end?

I for one am making time for a scamper or two - how about you?

Blessings

Ever had one of those days when you realized all of the blessings you have in your life? Your partner, your pets, your friends, your co-workers, your community...so many colors of the kaleidoscope that is our circle of blessings.

I am having one of those days today - and I am overjoyed at the abundance of blessings that exist in my life - and I am humbled and truly grateful for each and every one of them, and I pray that I too may be a blessing in the lives of others. I can think of no greater accomplishment in a life than that.

Magical Child Books is Having a Birthday!

Magical Child Books has turned two, and they are in the mood to celebrate. Last month Lyon's first book `An Ordinary Girl, A Magical Child,' received the prestigious honor as a 2009 COVR Visionary Awards Finalist. As you can see, they have more than one reason to have a party!

You and all your friends are invited.

Usually when someone has a birthday, the people coming to the party bring the gifts. They're turning the tables and flipping this custom on its head. They will give the gifts. You heard right. They are giving each of four lucky winners one of their four titles. That's one `An Ordinary Girl, A Magical Child,' one `Aidan's First Full Moon Circle,' one `Watchers,' and even one of our newest title, `Rabbit's Song.'

You want a FREE book, don't you? Well, yeah! Of course you do.

To celebrate Magical Child Book's second birthday, they are holding a book give-away contest. It is easy to enter.

All you have to do to enter is post an announcement like this one on your blog. Include the youtube.com book trailer for `An Ordinary Girl, A Magical Child' in your post. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6phdTMIsxQ) Once you have posted the news on your blog, send them an email with the URL link and your real name. That's it. You're entered!

On August 11, 2009, they will announce the winner for each book. Winners will have 48 hours to claim their free book by emailing with their mailing address. If a book goes unclaimed, they'll draw another name from all the entries.

Help Lyon spread the word. Post in your blog an announcement like this. Be sure to EMAIL contest (at) magicalchildbooks (dot) com your link and real name so we can put your name in the drawing. You can link to this post so everyone knows how to make sure they are entered for a FREE BOOK!

And because they are in such a good mood, if you hurry and you have your blog post up by next Saturday, July 11, 2009, they'll put you in for an extra entry. Just for posting by Saturday.

Spread the word! Win a FREE book!

Halfway Round the Wheel

The Summer Solstice is upon us - the high time of the sun, the longest day and shortest night. From this moment forward, the days will slowly get shorter, and the hours of the moon will lengthen.

In olden times times, summer was a joyous time of the year. The snow had disappeared; the ground had thawed out; warm temperatures had returned; flowers were blooming; leaves had returned to the trees. Some herbs could be harvested, for medicinal and other uses. Food was easier to find. The crops had already been planted and would be harvested in the months to come.

The first (or only) full moon in June is called the Honey Moon. Tradition holds that this is the best time to harvest honey from the hives.

This time of year, between the planting and harvesting of the crops, was the traditional month for weddings. This is because many ancient peoples believed that the "grand union" of the Goddess and God occurred in early May at Beltaine. Since it was unlucky to compete with the deities, many couples delayed their weddings until June. In some traditions, newly wed couples were fed dishes and beverages that featured honey for the first month of their married life to encourage love and fertility. The surviving vestige of this tradition lives on in the name given to the holiday immediately after the ceremony: The Honeymoon.

In my tradition, Alban Hefin is the time for checking in on the progress of the seeds that were blessed and planted at Alban Eilier and were now well on their way to bear fruit in this turn of the wheel, for better or for worse. Those seeds represent our hopes and dreams for this turn of the wheel, and as is often said, be careful what you wish for cause you might just get it.

So now is the time to evaluate, and see where the dreams are going - nourish them if need be - in some cases, trim them a bit and in others, well - sometimes you just have to dig it up and start over. But there's still time - there's still a chance to put the energy right, and guide the dream to fruition come the fall.

So this solstice I'm tending to my spiritual garden, and making time to guide my dreams on their path to fruition. Have you checked on your gardens lately?

Relying on Faith

It's a funny thing - many pagans participate in Sabbats and Esbats, read volumes of books on a variety of subjects and yet, in their everyday lives, they don't seem to put much faith in, well, our faith. I work in an office with many folks who actively participate in their churches, who speak on spiritual matters in the workplace and have even come and prayed for me at times of distress. I marvel at their saturation of faith on a daily basis, and wish I could grasp that saturation point too.

I light candles on our altar daily for those needing energy, I read several Pagan boards each day that discuss pagans in the news, the time of the seasons and more, I read a variety of books on pagan/metaphysical/hermetical/quantum physics type topics, and I give thanks everyday for my chosen family, my furry ones and my soul mate. When friends are in need I reach out and offer comfort, whether it be in the form of hugs or chocolate or both.

Maybe it's because I have to be so deep in the closet here, or that there are no other pagans here at the office to speak with. But I don't feel that deep saturation of connection with our faith that I see so obviously in others. Is this something all pagans struggle with?

The delicate balance of accepting CHANGE

Ah, change. A word that can strike fear into the hearts of many, or release those same people from the confines of a box they didn't even realize they were in.

So...am I fearful, or free - or both? Good question, and so far, no real good answer to go with it.

The job I had seen as my salvation (no pun intended) has dematerialized. The job I'm in has changed into a new role, and one that I'm enjoying, even if it means fewer hours of pay during the week. And, another job has surfaced that fits in harmony with the first job, and will allow us to make the bills.

But at what cost? I'll have a few extra hours during the week to spend at home, but my weekends are now officially lost to us. We'll actually have more money coming in than going out for a change, but less time to spend with each other and our animals and our friends.

What are the costs of change? Monetarily, spiritually, physically, emotionally - how do you strike the right balance without tipping the scales?

The impact of words

I was surfing through cnn.com today and found this commentary by Bob Greene, about the impact words can have on us throughout our lifetimes, and I just had to share it here with you, because as I read Bob's words, I thought of the many instances when someone said something to me that made all the difference in that moment, and which I still fondly recall today.

Commentary: How words can last a lifetime
By Bob Greene
CNN Contributor

Editor's note: CNN contributor Bob Greene is a best-selling author whose current book is "When We Get to Surf City: A Journey Through America in Pursuit of Rock and Roll, Friendship, and Dreams."

(CNN) -- The enduring moments of our lives, the ones that stay with us the longest, don't necessarily make the headlines.

The other afternoon I was talking with a woman by the name of Virginia Florey. She's 80 years old; she has lived in Midland, Michigan, all her life.
She was telling me that when she was 11 years old, she and her best friend, Charlotte Fenske, would walk to school together every morning. At the corner of East Carpenter Street and Haley Street, across from a Pure Oil filling station, there was a small grocery -- Thompson's grocery store, it was called.

"We would get there at around 7:30," she told me. "It must have opened up at 7 a.m., because the grocer would always be sweeping the floor when we came in.
"Charlotte and I would have a nickel, and we would buy a candy bar to split between us every morning. We would stand there in front of the man who owned the grocery and decide which kind to buy each day -- Butterfinger, or Milky Way, or Oh Henry!, or Hershey bar. We always talked about which one we wanted to spend our five cents on. We weren't very fast about it.

"And. . . ."

Here, Virginia Florey's voice grew almost wistful as she remembered it; here, almost 70 years later, you could hear the gratitude in her tone:
"He was never impatient with us. Never once."

Think of all the world-changing events that have transpired in the years since those days when the two girls in Midland would stop in at that grocery store; think of all the events that must have occurred in their own lives.

Yet back then someone was gracious toward them -- someone didn't rush them as they debated how to spend that precious nickel each Michigan morning. And now, in 2009, she sounded still thankful at the memory of it.

There's a lesson in that. In our current era, when offhanded cruelty at times seems to be the coin of the cultural realm, it may be worth giving a little thought to the idea that the small moments of people treating us with decency and empathy can last for a very long time -- that the echoes of kindness can be as loud as the echoes of callousness.

I asked her why she thought the memory of those mornings was still so vivid.
"I don't know," she said. "But I can still see him now. He would have the broom in his hand, and sometimes the dustpan in another. He would be standing by this black metal stove in the middle of his store. He was a thin man -- he wore a white butcher's-style apron, and he was so thin that he would have wrapped the apron string around his waist a few times and tied it in the front.

"And it was just so. . .calming, I think that's the word. . .for us to go in there and know that he wasn't going to rush us."

I have a feeling there are memories like that in a lot of lives -- small and sweet memories that are strong enough to override other memories of bitterness. I recall once interviewing a woman named Atsuko Saeki, who lived in Fujisawa, Japan. She told me she had attended college in the United States; she came to the U.S. knowing no one, and there were times, she said, when she had felt nervous and utterly alone.
In a physical education class, the students played volleyball. "I was very short, compared to the other students," she told me. "I felt I wasn't doing a very good job. To be very honest, I was a lousy player."

One day, she said, when she was playing especially poorly, trying without success to set the ball up for other players, a young man on her team, sensing her discomfort, walked up to her. He whispered to her, so no one else could hear:
"You can do that."

Something so simple. But, years later, she told me:
"I have never forgotten the words. 'You can do that.' When things are not going so well, I think of those words.

"If you are the kind of person who has always been encouraged by your family or your friends or somebody else, maybe you will never understand how happy those words made me feel. Four words: 'You can do that.'"

This weekend, in the central Ohio town where I grew up, there will be a charity race through the streets in honor of Jack Roth, who was my best friend since we were 5 years old.

Jack died of cancer in 2004. We hold the race in his name each year at this time. He may have been the kindest person I have ever known. It was his defining quality; whenever he would see a little kid in a driveway trying mightily to shoot baskets, Jack would instinctively call out: "Nice shot!" Whenever he would see a child struggling to throw a baseball, he would say: "Good arm!" Seemingly small moments -- I must have seen him do it a thousand times during our lives. And every time, he made someone feel a little better.

There will be hundreds of people running in that race this weekend, and if Jack were there, I know exactly what he would be doing: standing near the finish line, applauding for the racers who are the slowest, the ones who come in near the back of the pack. Cheering them on. Telling them that they've done a good job.

"He was never impatient with us," Virginia Florey, remembering the grocer at the corner of Carpenter and Haley, said, the timbre of thankfulness in her voice. "Never once."

Seventy years later, she sounded as if the memory of such a thing still matters.
Which, of course, is why it does.

Long time, no write....

Gosh, I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've written anything. Goes to show how crazy life has been.

Little Maeryn is doing great, and growing fast. She and her big bro Remy are inseparable now and the cats have come to terms with the fact that another loud, obnoxious, drooly thing has joined the family.

We're getting ready for our May family reunion - doing our best to clear the land of fallen debris, branches and other storm damage before everyone arrives at the end of the month.

I get so excited this close to our Chosen Family reunions - they only happen twice a year, and are the two times of the year I actually find myself counting the days (and hours and minutes) until everyone arrives.

The beauty of chosen family is truly a gift - to find like minded, loving and accepting people who love you for who you are, faults and all, is an amazing thing. I am so very blessed by those who call me friend, and whom I can call Hearthkin.

At each reunion, we all get badges with our names on them (it is only twice a year and some of us old fogeys are not that good at names) and some of us get badges with a special picture. The pic at the top of the blog is for mine this time - it reflects how I'm feeling - a rainbow of emotions.

Just 21 more days....and then it's hugs all around....man, I can't wait.

Good Omens

Yes, that's a puppy. Our puppy. The newest member of Clan de Soto. Meet Maeryn, a spunky bundle of energy who entered our lives on Sunday, during a rescue mission of sorts. It seems Maeryn had been foraging around a trailer park, and the owner of said park had decided she was a nuisance and was going to shoot her. Enter our friend Miranda, who took Maeryn and brought her to Pyrth.

The good news is that there has been a pronounced change in Remy - he's no longer moping and instead is happily trouncing through the leaves with Maeryn, teasing her with toys that are kept just out of her reach, and closely guarding her while she "does her business" in the woods. He's taken on the big brother role with relish, and it's done him a world of good.
We're still grieving over our loss of Cenau - just typing out his name brings tears to my eyes. Maeryn is in no way a replacement for such a wonderful and loving companion. She is who she is, and will find her place in this family on her own terms I'm sure.


The other good omen this week was a call back on one of the thousands of resumes I've sent out - this one is for a good job based in Little Rock. It all starts with a phone interview and moves on from there - wish me luck. I'm very hopeful that little Maeryn is a sign from above that the tide is turning, and the pendulum has finally started to swing in the other direction.

Another Turn of the Wheel

Another year come and gone - and what a year it was. Highs and lows, firsts and lasts. Looking back, you'd almost think it was my saturn return again. Nope, still got 7 years to go for that lovely year to come round - guess this was just a warm-up.

So - let's look at the stats:
I'm in a job that ends at the end of the month.
My beloved dog died the day before my birthday.
I'll be paying off my car's repair bill til August.
I'm living - living - in a tent.

So, to summarize, I am gelatinous clay for the universe to mold - so get on with it already! What is the hold up? What lesson have I missed? Where did I turn wrong? How do I fix this???????????????????????????????????????????????

Being the solid Aries that I am, banging my head against walls is routine, nay almost cliche. But I have a headache now and I can't take it anymore.

Is it time to be put out to pasture? Sent to the glue factory? WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?

Gimme a sign universe, a big, clear one cause I have tri-focals now and it's hard to focus - nice, big, obvious, THIS WAY sign would be great about now...anytime now...feel free...I'll be here, flapping as fast as I can, trying not to fall into the abyss...so hurry up, it's dark down there.

In Remembrance...

Today, our beloved friend and familiar, Cenau - bear cub in welsh - has gone on to the Elysian Fields, to play with Merlin and Gizmo, and romp through the grasses and chase rabbits.

He went for a last run through the river, his favorite place on the land, and then lay down to sleep beside it's banks, and never woke up.

Our hearts are broken - his beloved side kick Remy is lost - unsure of what has happened and where his protector has gone.

Please, light a candle so he can find his way. May his passage be one of loving warmth and sunny blue skies.

His mortal remains will be buried tonight in the Memory Garden at Pyrth Annwn, but his spirit will continue to the next turn of the wheel.

Good bye our dear friend, our dearest one, our joy. You will be missed, and you will be remembered.

New Moon Rising

There's a new moon rising tonight, bringing with it a time of New Beginnings.
The Moon represents the unconscious, both individually and collectively. It is obedient and tends to do what we ask it to, which is why we need to start asking it very clear and specific questions - especially at the time of the New Moon.

And for me, especially this new moon, for it is in the sign of Aries, my birth sign - which means the new beginnings will take on an Arian tinge. Now, if you know or love an Aries, you also know that 1) we're stubborn as hell and 2) we tend to leap into the fray without forethought or planning, because - hey, why wait?

Our lives at Pyrth Annwn sit at a crossroads - with many paths leading forward into the mist. Which path we take will cause great change, not only to ourselves but to all the other people who know us and interact with us. Family, friends, jobs, the events we facilitate, our students, our chosen family, even our furry kiddos will be affected.

And we can't do the whole two steps forward one step back routine. Once we move forward that's it - concrete set, path designated, come what may.

So what choice do we make? Which step do we take? Do we charge headlong into the fray saying damn the fates, all speed ahead...or do we acquiesce to the fates and allow our lives to be completely upended?

Are there really any choices, or are those themselves just an illusion? Are the many paths before us merely one path broken out into separate parts?

So many questions, and so few answers. I will light a red candle tonight beneath the shadow of the new moon and pray for guidance come the dawn.

Vernal Equinox - Time of Rebirth, Renewal & the Return of the Light

The time of the wheel has turned to the Spring Equinox - the balance of night and day, when - from this moment forward - the days become longer and the nights become shorter. Once again, we have made it through our harsh winter and emerged into the budding daylight of springtime.

Ostara, Goddess of Spring and the Dawn (Oestre / Eastre)

Easter is named for a Saxon goddess who was known by the names of Oestre or Eastre, and in Germany by the name of Ostara. She is a goddess of the dawn and the spring, and her name derives from words for dawn, the shining light arising from the east. Our words for the "female hormone" estrogen derives from her name.

Ostara was, of course, a fertility goddess. Bringing in the end of winter, with the days brighter and growing longer after the vernal equinox, Ostara had a passion for new life. Her presence was felt in the flowering of plants and the birth of babies, both animal and human. The rabbit (well known for its propensity for rapid reproduction) was her sacred animal.

Easter eggs and the Easter Bunny both featured in the spring festivals of Ostara, which were initially held during the feasts of the goddess Ishtar | Inanna. Eggs are an obvious symbol of fertility, and the newborn chicks an adorable representation of new growth. Brightly colored eggs, chicks, and bunnies were all used at festival time to express appreciation for Ostara's gift of abundance.

At this time of year, my chosen family comes together to celebrate the dream time - this last longer night of darkness before the equilibrium of the equinox appears. We sleep together in a dream circle, in hopes of using our combined energies to help manifest our hopes and dreams for this turn of the wheel.

The breezes of air surround us, playfully making the daffodils sway to and fro. The gentle rains coax the new growth out of the freshly thawed earth, so that they may reach for the warmth of the fiery sun above them.

Use this time wisely - be aware of new possibilities, of the renewed energy and beauty in the world around you and within yourself.

A Single Grain of Rice

The following was written by my sister, Ahriana. It's a story that must be shared with as many as possible, and thus, I include it here...

A Single Grain of Rice

I should probably begin by explaining that there is no way, regardless how many words I use or how eloquent I might be, that I could really share with you the full experience that I had yesterday. Be that as it may, I am compelled to attempt this sharing anyway because the importance of the experience is too big to keep to myself.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking as part of an interfaith panel at Pine Creek High School. Although the panel presentation, in itself, contained unique moments worthy of discussion, it is what happened afterward that affected me so deeply.

As one group of students left the room and another began to enter, the teacher who was preparing to teach the next class approached several of us and invited us to stay. She explained that her class has been studying genocide and that she would be providing a very powerful demonstration she felt we would appreciate.

I was a bit intrigued, but my own children, who did not have school, were waiting at the sitter’s for me to pick them up, so I graciously asked if I could stay “for a few moments” and sat by the door so that I could slide out without disturbing anyone when it was time for me to leave.

I intended to stay for ten minutes or so.

The only other person from the panel who stayed was the Rabbi – a lovely chaplain from the Air Force Academy. He was gracious enough to offer me a closer chair next to him, and, as someone who has come to appreciate any opportunity to get to know folks from other faith traditions more personally, I could not help but accept. It was a very good choice – and I am grateful for the Rabbi’s gesture because, without it, I might actually have missed something life changing.

The teacher began by laying out several black sheets on the open floor. The students were instructed to sit around them so they would have a better view. In a very matter-of-fact way, she then explained how she and a colleague had wanted to demonstrate the number of people who had been killed by genocide. After a lot of thought, they came up with an idea. They would buy a bag of rice and count how many grains were in a cup, then multiply the cups to get the correct numbers for various incidents throughout history. She explained that each grain of rice represented one human being and she directed our attention to the giant bins that contained what was needed for the exercise.

To begin, each person in attendance was presented with a handful of rice to hold. “What you have in your hand is about as many grains of rice as there are students in this high school (1500),” she explained. Then the teacher went to the CD player and introduced a haunting melody.

The music played and she began pouring rice on the ebony canvas.

I wish I had taken note of the exact numbers but the piles quickly became so immense that I could feel myself struggling with my emotions. At that moment, my logical mind was trying to wrap itself around a reality I could hardly comprehend.

“1.5 million.” “150,000.” “300,000.” “7 million.” “Hundreds of thousands in only 100 days.” The figures were staggering. To actually look at the massive mounds of rice and recognize, in such a visceral way, how many men, women and children had died was almost too much to take in. “Turkey, Germany, Cambodia, Bosnia, Rwanda, and continuing to this very day in Darfur, “ she said, as the piles grew and grew. The largest number? Native Americans. “Everything on this sheet – twice!”

Each grain of rice is a human being who has died as a result of genocide

My emotions eventually got the better of me. Tears fell freely as I embraced the severity of what she was demonstrating.

I watched as young women with mascara-lined eyes wiped away the darkened streaks that ran down their cheeks. I observed vibrant young men leaning forward, heads resting into their hands, as if to hold back the thoughts that could not be spoken. This was a lesson they would never forget – and neither will I.

Toward the end the rice we had been holding was collected. “It is believed,” she explained, “that, in our lives, we will each have the chance to influence about as many people as you have grains of rice in your hand.” We were asked to retain one grain and surrender the rest into a common container.

She paused and asked, “What kind of influence will you be?”

After allowing us a few moments to ponder, she changed the music to something more upbeat. One by one, she brought forth vessels of various sizes and shapes, containing varying amount of rice that represented numbers of individuals who had influenced the world in a positive way. Mother Theresa, - The Survivors of Auschwitz who shared their stories with the world, - The nine Prisoners of War that kept alive the memories of those who had not made it home. There were many examples.

She spoke about how one person could change the world – and presented the data necessary to prove her point.

And when she had finished, each student was invited to glue their single grain of rice on a piece of paper and to write what they were feeling.

Slowly a few students came forward, running their fingers through the piles, and contemplating all that had been seen and heard. As they moved to their desks to write, I quietly placed my grain of rice in my pocket, said a soft goodbye to the Rabbi, and took my leave. I had feelings of my own to sort out – and children who were waiting for me.

When I arrived home, I reached into my pocket, afraid I might have lost such a small treasure, and gratefully retrieved that single grain of rice. I placed it in a heart-shaped dish on my altar.

So you see, my friends, I could not simply “leave it at that” for I too have some influence in the world. I know that I am blessed to have your ear – and in some cases, your heart – so I must pass along the question that was asked yesterday.

“What kind of an influence will you be on the world we share?”

Whatever you choose, I hope you will remember how powerful you are and act accordingly.

You are LOVE and you are loved!

Ahriana
3/13/2009

To find out more about my sister and the good work she's doing in Colorado, please go to www.ecospiritual.com.

"You're living in a what?"

That's the response we tend to get nowadays from folks who can't believe we've made the move out to our land in Salem without having our cabin built yet...when we tell them we're living in a tent, or tents actually. Let me tell you, during the ice storm, we were actually better off in our tents than most folks (aside from the danger of being flattened by falling trees - other than that we were better off).


We've cobbled together two tents covered by a large blue tarp and consisting of a bedroom in the back and a closet/kitchen in the front. That's Cenau checking out the kitchen and Remy inspecting the comfiness of the bed.



We actually have a lovely kitchen tent that we use normally, but as cold as it's been, we got smart and moved a smaller version of it into our house tent for the time being.



To keep warm, we've added a wood stove to the back of the bedroom tent - surprisingly enough, it works great, and keeps the bedroom tent about 20 degrees warmer than outside.




Once it warms up a bit, Bren's a whiz at campsite cooking, and we'll start making good use of our campfire cooking ring.



And of course, as far as "facilities" go, we have our lovely composting toilets, which Brennan and our friends Richard and Cheri helped us build.



We have a wash station set up for doing dishes, and once it gets warmer, we'll have our solar shower for washing ourselves - right now we gratefully stop by our friend Megan's for a shower and hot meal in town. Plus we have a generator for electricity to power lights and my laptop, and a wonderful propane stove plus stone fireplace in the bedroom tent as a back-up in case the wood stove fire goes out.



All in all, it's not so bad - quite the adventure really. Now when we move the cats up here - that's going to be the real adventure - they get a tent all their own. Complete with futon for sleeping on, cat perch for bird watching and kitty dinner table for munchies and crunchies. Updates on that later. For now, it's back to building the cabin with the floor finished and the walls starting to come back together. More photos of that soon!

Making ends meet

The state of the economy weighs heavily on my mind, as it does on most Americans. Just being able to make enough money to cover the bills, keep a roof over our heads and keep our animals fed is tough, but we were on the upswing, paying off our car loan, cutting our expenses to the absolute minimum, we were doing okay - until unexpected expenses popped up such as our only vehicle breaking down make the day to day struggle even harder.

There are many moments when I just want to sit and cry and give up - throw in the towel, swallow my pride and beg for help from my conservative republican parental units....

But then small miracles happen - a friend offers a ride to and from work, another offers to watch over our cats whom we cannot get to due to the car being dead, and our dogs come up to me and completely lick my tears away, as my husband gives me an amazing hug.

We're going to make it - we're going to get through this. I know we're not alone, that there are so many out there like us, living paycheck to paycheck, having cut every possible extra expense, living on bare minimums. We have to be there for each other right now - we have to reach out and support each other - be that ride for someone, take care of someone's beloved animals, be a shoulder to cry on or a hug that someone really needs.

We are a community, spread out a bit, yes, but a community - let's pull together now and support each other through these tough times. And remember to hug someone today, whether they ask for it or not, expect it r not - just give a hug, and pass it on.

Surviving the Storm

Wow - when Mother Nature decides to make a storm, she really puts everything into it. Many friends and locals are still without power - more than 9 days after the storm first hit. It could be another week for some of them. That Tuesday night, sitting in our tent in the dark, listening as the trees cracked and came whooshing to the ground - was the scariest night of my life. I've never prayed so hard for so long for anything.

The good news is we survived, our tent was intact, our car was miraculously not hit by any falling trees or limbs and our dogs were blissfully happy bouncing around in the leftover sleet/snow.

And now the clean-up begins - pulling out the chainsaws, moving limbs, rebuilding what was lost. A lovely old white oak landed smack dab in the middle of our cabin floor - it could have been worse, but the set back is disheartening.

Hopefully this is the last ice blast Mother Nature has planned for this winter - I for one could really use a heat wave right about now.

Building a Home - Part 1

And we're off - the grand adventure has begun. We're building a cabin in the woods - a modified starplate cabin with five sides - to be our humble abode until a larger dwelling can be erected. We've got the foundation and the floor in, now it's on to the walls and a roof. As soon as we get a new camera, I'll upload more pics of our progress, but here's where it all started...



We began by laying out the five sided shape...



And moved it around until we found the right lay of the land for it.



Next, the dogs had to come in and check our measurements...



And once we had our layout, the cinderblocks came in to help us get level.



Then began the tedious process of moving and shimming, until we were level all the way around.



In place of our temporary cinder blocks, we placed mortared stone pillars from stones on our property. Eventually, we'll have a stone base all the way around.




And finally, we started framing out the floor...



By this point, we were pretty tired - even the dogs were done in...



Next time...wall raising!

A Yuletide Message from my Sister

My beautiful sister Ahriana has always had the most beautiful way with words - and at this Yuletide, I defer to her eloquence to express the meaning of the season.

Hello, Dear Friends!

It is Yule, and tonight, friends from far and near will gather in faith that we can survive the longest night. From this night forward, we will experience a little more sunlight each day, until the Spring arrives in all her colorful glory.

There is much romanticizing about this holiday and how the ancestors celebrated. Lengthy conversations are held about the origins of the Christmas Tree, Gift Giving, and the Jolly Ol' Elf himself. I wonder if it might be more important to discuss what these traditions mean in our modern world, where the holiday season can be challenging for so many.

My sweetheart is outside, as I am writing, stringing lights on the Douglas Fir in our yard. We decorate the Evergreen because it is the one living thing that consistently stays green throughout the winter. We see it as proof that Mother Nature has not abandoned us. She is simply resting, in preparation for a new season of growth and abundance. Despite the headlines about unemployment, crime rates and economic decline, the Evergreen reminds us that we have the strength to persevere through the "winter" of our own lives. It serves as a reminder to have faith.

We hang apples and strings of popcorn as gifts to the animals because it is harder to find food this time of year. It is a way to give back to "that-which-is-wild," and to remember that we are all interconnected. As we care for the wild world, we honor our own wildness, the untamable human spirit that tenaciously finds a new way of doing things. This same tenacity delivers us to the doorway of change.

The sparkling ornaments dance and sway, reminding us of the brilliance of our lives. Each dazzling glint of light opens our imagination, attracting the fairy realm - the devic kingdom - the unseen "spirit" of Nature. This "spirit of the season" warms us, comforts us and plays in our hearts, allowing us to find a sense of joy. It is this same "spirit' that sparks the flame within - the radiant flame that burns brightly in our hearts and lights the path ahead of us.

Tonight, in my home, a small group will gather. We will exchange gifts, reminding each other that there is always enough. We will light candles and, as each one ignites, we will share our visions for the future. We will warm each other with our laughter and our stories, and, together, we will face a new dawn. The "longest night" will give way to the eternal sun!

You see, these ancient ways are as important today as they were in times gone by. How they originated is not as important as the fact that they exist,. Our "Winter" is different than the winter faced by our ancestors. What threatens our survival is different. Yet, our need for faith, comfort, courage and strength, is the same. "Spirit' remains the blazing gift that guides us through the darkness into the light.

From my house to yours, a wish for a very blessed Yuletide. May your fires burn warm and the morning light inspire you.

Blessed be,

Ahriana

For more wonderful words of wisdom from my dear sister, please subscribe to her newsletter and check out the important work she is doing at the Colorado Ecospiritual Center - www.ecospiritual.com

Mother Earth & Father Time

Snuggling in to my mid-winter hibernation and tending to a bad cold, I was lucky enough to find on the television the original animated Charlotte's Web - the one with the magnificent Paul Lynde as Templeton the Rat, not that new one with Julia Roberts - and was transported back to being a kid again.

While I was enjoying the movie, this wonderful song is sung by Charlotte, called Mother Earth and Father Time - it's the best sort of lullabye, blending the changing of the seasons with the unwinding of Time.

It moved me so much that I dragged myself out from under the covers to find the lyrics and a link to it on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTuDSP2Nk5Q

Mother Earth and Father Time

How very special are we

For just a moment to be

Part of life's eternal rhyme

How very special are we

To have on our family tree

Mother Earth and Father Time

He turns the seasons around

And so she changes her gown

But they always look in their prime

They go on dancing their dance

Of everlasting romance

Mother Earth and Father Time

The summer larks return to sing

Oh, what a gift they give

Then autumn days grow short and cold

Oh, what a joy to live

How very special are we

For just a moment to be

Part of life's eternal rhyme

How very special are we

To have on our family tree

Mother Earth and Father Time

This is one I want to share with youngsters as they cuddle snug in their beds tonight, waiting on Father Yule to arrive.

Preparing for the time of rest

This time of year always finds me pulled in two directions - in one, the holidays are upon us and there's frantic energy put towards preparing for family visits, cooking for friends and decorating the house inside and out -- and on the other hand, the seasons tell us this is the time for rest, reflection and stillness. Quite the dichotomy.

How to fit both halves of my life into one life - hurriedly decorate while sitting in still contemplation. I need to clone myself. Each year I struggle with this - I have pledged my life to my faith, which strongly dictates this as the season of rest. The trees are dormant, the animals are slumbering, the flowers have retreated into the dark soil of the earth, to rest until Spring.

And yet there are bills to be paid, jobs to do and so much more. I remind myself each morning, to take a slower pace, to move with deliberateness, not swiftness. To think all things through, not act on impulse. I am attempting to teach myself to live my life with the wheel, to match my energy to the energy of the Mother. To find balance in the season and meaning in the theme of rest and reflection.

New Beginnings

I typed "New Beginnings" into the image search on Google, and this came up as one of the choices - It reads: "These crocuses, poking their heads up through a powder of late snow reminded me of a quote by Albert Camus, 'In the depth of winter, I finally learned that inside me there lay an invincible summer.'"

An invincible summer - a season of joy, energy, hope and celebration - shining through the depths of the coming winter's cold and grey days. What a lovely thought - and so appropriate to what I'm feeling today. After months of being without work, and forcing myself to truly evaluate how I see myself and value myself, the Universe has presented an opportunity that fits everything we've been looking for - a job close to our land, that pays enough to allow us to fulfill our dream of living on our land, and that will allow me to get to know my new community and allow them to get to know me. We'll be closer to friends and chosen family, and finally able to call Pyrth Annwn our true home.

As the cold winds of November swirled around my shoulders today, that invincible summer had me grinning from ear to ear.

The Power Of HOPE

Hope - such a small word, but full of so much promise. We have elected Barak Obama as our first African American president - a harvard graduate who learned from an early age the importance of community.

Building community, bridging differences, finding room for tolerance are all qualities we strive to live every day and now the leader of our country will be doing the same.

A man on NPR today said: "Rosa Parks sat, so that Martin Luther King Jr could walk. Martin Luther King Jr walked so that Barak Obama could run. Barak Obama ran so that one day we could fly."

Let's spread our wings and on the winds of HOPE, may we soar to heights of equality, tolerance and understanding, the likes of which this country has never dreamed of.

Namaste

Getting Ready for Family

In just 10 days, a multitude of family members from across several states will be descending upon Pyrth Annwn to once again reunite and share in the magick that flows through us all.

Twice a year we come together amidst the forest canopy at Pyrth Annwn - people from all beliefs and backgrounds, from all paths and places - to come together as a family to share ritual, workshops, stories of the past six months, pictures of friends and time sharing and laughing around a fire.

I look forward to these times all year long - anxiously awaiting the days and nites when we can dress as we wish, dance under the starry sky and hug with abandon.

Just ten more days......I'm already packed....ready to go....wonder if anyone else is?

The Season of Fall

Autumn is here - the autumnal equinox arrives, balancing day and night in perfect harmony, preparing us for the shorter days to come and the darkness of winter up ahead.

I've always loved the Fall, ever since I was a child growing up on Staten Island. From my window, the trees lining the street of Hamden Avenue would come alive in a riot of colors ranging from yellows to reds to oranges as the green chlorophyll of summer slowly ebbed away, revealing the true colors of the leaves in all their glory.

Seeing someone's "true colors" has always had mixed meanings for me - it could be that you're seeing the wolf underneath his sheepskin, or perhaps seeing someone for the first time, realizing the person you've known for so many years is actually a complete stranger. It could be that someone has finally stepped forth and shown their mettle - or that their actual motives for action have come to the forefront.

Did you know that the energy of a dragonfly is that of displaying one's true colors? Of showing the world who you really are inside, beneath the layers of emotional baggage and old tapes from old relationships?

There is a "clan" of dragonfly women at WytcheHaven - a group of brave souls who followed the lead of one and had dragonfly tattoos imprinted on their skin, as if saying to the world - Here I am, this is me - like it or leave.

What a perfect time of year to strip away the layers of false hopes, masks of expected behaviors and smiles of protection and reveal the true colors underneath, much as the leaves are doing now - now that the green chlorophyll that masked them for so many months is ebbing away.

What would you see in the mirror, if your chlorophyll of expectations and pretensions was stripped away? Would you like what you see? Would you recognize your own soul in the reflection?

I'm taking my cue from the leaves, and stripping away the layers to my true self, and my true purpose - and I'm planning on joining the Dragonfly Trybe at WytcheHaven come October, and proudly saying to the world - This is me - these are my true colors.

Picking up the Pieces

Someone once told me that our lives begin as a solid piece of glass, and as we experience what life has to offer, it becomes scratched and broken, never to be whole again. At the time, I found that to be incredibly depressing - being an Aries, of course I wanted to be able to "wipe the slate clean" and start anew, with a brand new piece of glass.

As the years have passed, I've begun to see this in a different light. Every scratch, every break in the glass shapes us, and makes us who we are - unique. Unlike anyone or anything else on the planet...and being an Aries, I liked being unique, so this sat with me pretty well - until yesterday.

Yesterday, a hammer that would have made Thor proud smashed into my pane of glass and broke it into so many pieces that I feel as though I have lost parts of myself in the carnage. I feel hollow, empty - as if the echoes of life have left the building. What do you have when your pane of glass is now a heap of rubble?

Well, for starters you tend to sit and stare at the rubble pile - a lot. I've found it hard to do anything else. You move some pieces around on the floor, pick out the bigger ones and brush the smaller slivers together. You find yourself thinking about what was lost, and what you've lost that you don't even realize you've lost yet...and worrying that when you do realize, it will be something important...something you may fear being without.

And you tend to cry for a while, lamenting the glass that used to be. And then you start to really look at what you have left, and face what the glass now is. And it isn't easy to face, but being an Aries I want to move forward, ever forward head first into the fray.

So, I've decided to make a mosaic of my glass pane - I'm going to make something beautiful from the chaos on the floor, and I'm going to be able to look at it and know that it's me, and that it's okay. That I'm okay. I'm just a little different inside than I was before. A little sadder, somewhat wiser, and maybe even stronger.

And I'm going to buy a lot of glue...

Celebrating Mid Summer

It is the time of action…we are in but the pubescent stage of our growth cycle. Fire’s raging heat beats upon our skin, and focuses our will. Now is a time of great purpose, as air soars overhead, cooling our brows and bringing us the fresh scent of the summer days. Our goals are manifesting beneath us as mother grows steadily forth under our feet, giving us a soft place to lie during the heat of the day, and a warm place to dance at night. As we strive together to reach our personal and community goals, water quenches our thirst for knowledge and blends our efforts into one.

Remember that this is the longest day of the year. Air is aloft, clarifying our purpose and actions as we strive to maintain our goals. Earth stands beneath us as our crops begin to manifest within the fields of our endeavors. Fire blazes forth as the heat of the sun at its zenith beats down upon us, focusing our will and illuminating spirit's vision within us. Water ripples around us, awakening us to our intuitive connections with each other and our surroundings, and bringing us the wisdom to further our paths in the summer heat.

A Blessed Summer Solstice to You All - May the Longest Day Bring You Clarity, Faith and Hope for the Future Harvest Still to Come.

The beginning of a new home

I am beyond excited - we're finally moving forward with our plans to build a home at Pyrth Annwn. I can't describe to you the joy and overwhelming feeling of anticipation for this. It is something we have dreamed about for a very long time, and it's finally happening.

In fitting with our nature, our home won't be the ordinary box or cabin. As shown in the model, we're using the starplate building system as the basis for our home, our greenhouse and our future storage building.

Starplates create five sided structures, so we've created an arrangement that will work for us, including a two story main building that will house the living room on the bottom floor and our bedroom on the top floor, a two story bath house module for an upstairs and downstairs bathroom plus our telescope viewing area on the roof, a one story kitchen module, one story study/guest room module and a laundry/mud room. In the future, we'll be adding on a dining hall so we'll have room when our large chosen family gathers to celebrate.

We already know where the garden is going, and where we'll be fencing in an outside area for the cats to enjoy, plus a separate area for the puppies to play. We've got the site for the well picked out, and pretty much figured out the layout of the septic system.

We've picked out an area behind the main house that's partially into the cliff face for a canning cellar/mead brewing room. Next up is figuring out where the chickens and goats are going to go once we get them. Our friend Megan has us hooked on goat milk and cheese, so Cabrito is definitely going to be on the menu, and my friend James has me hooked on fresh eggs, hence the chickens. And yes, we will have many guineas to control the tick population. Cenau will have his work cut out for him keeping the coyotes and foxes at bay.

The best part about all of this - we're doing it ourselves. The magick that will infuse this act of creation will make this home a very sacred place indeed - and anchor my gypsy feet once and for all firmly in the ground.

Continuing the Journey (or how I try to keep ducking the Cosmic 2 x 4)

Ah, the Cosmic 2 x 4 - that gentle hand of the Universe, guiding us along our life lesson path...why as humans do we insist on ignoring the gentle prods and pokes and instead only pay attention when we get smacked on the back of the head? You'd think paying attention to all that poking and prodding would start to look good after a while...

but alas, we are only human aren't we?

No matter how far we think we've come, or how much we feel we've learned, there is always another lesson just waiting around the bend for us.

Mine this week is the lesson of release. And I really thought I had this one down too, but - whack! - apparently not.

And so, Aleve in hand, I find myself once again making meditation time for myself each day so that I can reflect on what I've been missing, or what it is that I refuse to release, and hope I get it right this time.

'Cause even for an Aries, we can only take so many hits to the head.

A Pagan Parable

I was sent this wonderful parable from an anonymous reader - and it's fabulous - a tale to be told to all pagan children (and adults) dealing with bullies in the schoolyard or the workplace.

The Little Boy Who Cried Lawsuit
A Pagan Parable
By
Golden Quill

Once upon a time, in the Pagan land of Ar-Kann, there was a little boy named Davy who, along with his faithful hound, Uninformed lassie (Davy called her Uni for short), had dreams of doing great things. Unfortunately, little Davy, was just a little crazy and had an unhealthy fascination with Christianity, Evangelism and Catholicism. None of the Pagans in Ar-Kann were quite sure why. Perhaps, he didn’t have a father to teach him any better; perhaps he was molested by a priest or a minister; or perhaps, like Reverend Jim Jones, he just wasn’t born right. To this day, it’s still a mystery.

Anyway, one day little Davy starts calling himself, Reverend Davy, and proclaims himself the first Pagan Pope of Ar-Kann. He wandered out to the meadow and called all the creatures together. Once all of the Pagan creatures had gathered he started to tell scary stories. There was a horrible monster roaming the land called the Guvmint that would steal away their children; that wolves roamed all around the meadows; that terrible storms were coming -- torrential rains and droughts, then plagues and all the crops would fail, and they would all starve, but he said, because “I am a Messiah”, he could save them all.

Well, naturally, the little Pagan creatures did not want all of these terrible things to befall themselves and their children, so they pleaded with Davy, “What can we do?” Davy raised his little crooked staff in the air, straining to get it past his very fat belly, and told them, “All you have to do is recognize that I am you sacred leader as proclaimed by the ALMIGHTY GOD. Umm,… I mean the gods of course. Give up your free will, your right to think for yourself; become sheep and recognize me as your Divine Shepherd, and umm, let me sleep with you wives from time to time.“

The little Pagan creatures thought these rules a little strange but, not being sure what it all meant, and being frightful of this terrifying world around them (which, they never even knew existed), they agreed. After all, they must think of their children first.

For awhile, all was good within the flock. The Guvmint monster wasn’t seen, wolves didn’t threaten their homes, the landscape and crops weren’t devastated, and even the Jehovah Witnesses stopped coming around. Then…things changed.

Davy’s faithful hound, Uninformed lassie, started biting at their heels, forcing them to run around in circles. And then, Shepherd Reverend Pope Davy, started rapping them on the head with his little crooked stick, calling them names, threatening them, abusing them and mistreating them in many different ways.

Well, the flock became agitated, chaotic, and began whispering among themselves. And, one day a member of the flock, timidly approached Reverend Shepherd Davy and said, “I don’t like the way you’re treating us. You’re very mean and you lie to us and, another thing, I don’t think I’m a sheep. I’m pretty sure I’m a rabbit”. The flock grew quiet. Uninformed lassie started running around in circles, barking and barking and barking. Little Davy’s face turned red from anger. He raised his crooked little stick and said, “YOU ARE EXCOMMUNICATED”. And, then, pointing his crooked little stick at her, called down the greatest curse he knew, and cried, “LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT”. All the flock trembled in fear, and the scared little sheep (or rabbit, depending on who you talk to), fled into the wilderness. And, for awhile… the flock was quiet.

Well, months passed and all seemed right with the world, at least from Shepherd Reverend Pope Davy’s position. Amongst the flock though, it was a different matter. Uninformed lassie continued nipping at the heels of the flock, making them run around in circles, and little Davy’s abuses became even worse.

This went on for many, many, months. And, every so often, one of the little Pagan creatures of the flock would timidly approach little Davy and complain about the abuse, the lies that they were told, express doubts that there were monsters all around, or sometimes just because they didn’t want to be a sheep but, wanted to be a hawk, or a butterfly, or a dragon instead. And, every time Uninformed lassie would run around in circles, barking and barking and barking. Little Davy would grow angry, point his crooked little stick, and call down the curse, “LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT,” upon the poor creature. The little creature would run off into the wilderness and the flock would stand there quivering in fear. And, once again, for awhile, things would be quiet.

But, one day, something strange happened. One morning Reverend Pope Shepherd Davy awoke, and he with his faithful dog Uninformed lassie, went to round up his flock. When he got to the meadow though, he realized that something had changed with his flock. Many of his little bitty sheep seemed larger, and had grown these huge, curving, dangerous looking horns. Undaunted, Uninformed lassie went to work, biting at their heels and trying to get the flock to run around in circles. But, this time the flock stood still… unmoving. But, then the flock began to move, as one, and the sheep with horns approached little Davy. Uninformed lassie began running around in circles, barking and barking and barking, and little Davy began to scream and yell at them, and rap them on the head with his little crooked stick. Yet, this time the flock didn’t quiver in fear and the little crooked stick had no effect on their big curved horns.

One of these strange looking sheep stared at little Davy and said, “We don’t want you around anymore. You lie to us, you abuse us, you take advantage of us, and you’re untrustworthy”. This so shocked Uninformed lassie, that she stopped barking, and stared in shock at little Davy, her thin little legs shaking, barely keeping her fat belly off the ground. Little Davy stared back at the sheep, and threatened him saying, “I’ll shall call the curse of LAWSUIT, down upon you all, if you do not obey me, and worship me.” The sheep sighed and replied, “You keep saying that but nothing ever happens, no one is cursed and no magickal lawyer ever appears. It’s time for you to go”. Undaunted, little Davy asked the strange looking sheep, “If I leave who will lead you, who will think for you, who will you follow!!” The sheep, glared at him saying, “Rams don’t follow”. Then the rams lowered their heads and moved menacingly toward little Davy and his dog Uninformed lassie. Little Davy and his dog began to shake with fear, and not knowing what else to do, turned and ran and ran and ran deep into the wilderness.

After that, things were better in the Pagan land of Ar-Kan. They learned that if they weren’t forced to run around in circles, they could get many things done. They realized that they didn’t have to be sheep, if they didn’t want to. They could be a hawk, or a butterfly, or a cat. They realized that they didn’t need an all powerful leader to think for them; they could do that for themselves as well. And, as these things happen, some of the little Pagan creatures became leaders, and others became followers, and some chose to lead at times or follow at other times. But, the most important thing that they learned was that they could work together.

Now, of course I’m sure that you are all wondering, what ever happened to little crazy Davy and his faithful dog Uninformed lassie? Well, it turned out that they were right about one thing. There are wolves in the world, hounds from the otherworld, and a horrible monster called Guvmint. And, they fell upon little Davy and his faithful dog Uninformed lassie, and devoured them, bones and all.
But, don’t worry kiddies, that only happens to the bad Pagans.

And, the moral or morals of this story are:

Lawsuit is not a magickal curse that you can smite your enemies with.
You can only frighten people for so long.
Telling a lie repeatedly doesn’t make it truth.
And, though some people are happy being sheep… well, I’d rather run with the
Wolves.


Copyrighted 2008: I freely give permission to anyone to copy or repeat or share this story, I only require that you maintain the work as it was originally written.

Chosen Family

I'm back - refreshed, revived, renewed ... and tired, tired, tired.

What a wonderful weekend - what amazing energy. I don't know where to begin. From the last minute push to get everything ready to the first welcoming hugs, this WytcheHaven Weekend was awesome! We have composting toilets now in place of those awful smelly port-a-potties we used to have. We have a shower house to get the camp dust and dirt of off us during the weekend. We have easy access to the river now, to go and play and relax in the sand. Speaking of sand, we have a dancer's track around revels of soft sand so the dancers no longer have to sing out the litany of "Stump, Rock, Hole..."

Vendors! Shopping! Wow! Artisans Alley was full of bright shiny baubles from new and old vendors - the didge workshop brought out some hidden didge playing talents (I expect to hear more Didge's at the next Revels!)

The Flight of the Faeries was beautiful as always - so many new faeries this year! And Faery's panty hunt was a wild time - congrats to Rowan for finding the special pair!

More new additions to the Memory Garden this year - it's truly gaining it's own voice in the community...and Wadjet's Wadi had a terrific innaugural event. From the swing to the sandbox to the blue and white fort - what a cool place for kids and adults to play!

I miss the drums, I miss the hugs, I miss the sleepy pagan zombies coming to the Wytche's Brew in the morning for coffee...I miss you all so much already. How long til October?

Family Reunion

I'm getting ready to leave for my family reunion - it's a bi-annual event, held in sacred space in the Ozarks under the beautiful shady trees of Pyrth Annwn.

My chosen family members from 11 different states will be there - gathering in together to share, laugh, learn, grow and reconnect as a loving community with love, respect and trust the foremost tenants.

We'll drum together, dance together, celebrate ritual together, laugh together, talk together, share together and learn from each other.

We'll shop and find amazing gifts hand-crafted by pagan artists; we'll go swimming in the crystal clear Starwberry River; we'll shuffle sleepy-eyed together into the Brew for coffee in the morning and share stories of the previous night's revelry.

Druids, eclectics, hermetics, wiccans, odinists, OTO'ers, agnostics, buddhists and more - all coming together as family.

Why can't mundania be more like this?

Creating Sacred Space

Creating sacred space, I have found, is a lot like any handmade craft - it takes time, skill, and energy. Like weaving the patchwork of a quilt, or adding touches of moss to a birdhouse, or finding the perfect word for a line of poetry, the creation of sacred space is a journey of discoveries.

Last weekend, an incredibly diverse group of Weekenders came together with one unified mission - to continue the creation of sacred space at Pyrth Annwn. Some were focused on a children's area, others on gathering wood for the communal fires, some on erecting a shower house and still others willing to apply their labors as needed. We were adults and children; husbands and wives; students; teachers; druids; hermetics; eclectics -- combining our creative energies into making something for the entire community to share.

We discovered the joys of hammer throwing (don't ask), of digging up rocks and rolling boulders, of sitting in a sand box and laughing with the kids, of relaxing by the fire and just enjoying the conversation.

All of this mixed into the aether, into the creative energies that flowed out and over Pyrth Annwn, renewing and refreshing her soil with peace, love, laughter and joy. And renewing and refreshing us as well.

Happy May Day! Happy Beltane!

To all my friends and chosen family, may this season bring new spiritual growth, an abundance of new colors and an overflowing of joyful emotions. I dance with you on this path, bells jingling, eyes smiling and arms outstretched to you.

Ah, those little victories in life....

You know the ones - small, somewhat inconsequential, but man - you feel better when they happen don't you? That time you fought with the printer until it FINALLY printed your information onto the specialty paper correctly (after trashing the first 5 sheets), or you did battle with the CD duplicating computer and actually got it to start working again without having to hit it with a sledgehammer...oh yes, these small victories make for those little pick me ups throughout the day that help get us closer to Friday.

I'm excited to get to Friday you see, because we've got so much planned for the work weekend out at our land, Pyrth Annwn - and many of our good friends are coming to join us in the labor and help us create more sacred space amidst the forests of Pyrth Annwn. We're creating a play area for the kids, working on small building projects and clearing out campsites of last fall's leaves. The day we can finally call Pyrth our permanent, never moving again home can't come too soon. (Come on water table, I want to drill a well!)

I could live there now, I really could. We have a little portapotty, with five actual 55 gallon drum composting toilets coming soon. We have solar showers and a river to swim in. We have tents that work for us quite nicely, just not so much for the cats. They might have a thing or two to say about that. The dogs however would be as happy as us I think - they both love it out there, whether they're chasing the errant armadillo or napping in dappled shade near staff camp.

The one thing I'd miss would be electricity - I like my Internet and my TV shows. They're my vice. I could live a really simple existence if it wasn't for them. The idea of planting gardens and orchards, and canning our crops fills me with absolute delight. I have a lot to learn about it, but I'm so excited to get started. And chickens - now that's going to be an adventure, especially with the two dogs to help chicken-wrangle.

Soon, now - soon. Every step forward brings us that much closer....

Making room for chaos

I was talking to a relative the other day, and they expressed great distress at the size of my ever increasing household - in just 8 years Brennan and I have managed to provide a home for not only ourselves, but five cats and now two dogs (there was a fish at one point, but then, remember, we have five cats...).

To them, the word menagerie doesn't even begin to cut it - they feel we're basically starting our own zoo. I was really surprised by their tone, and their concern. To me, each addition has found their niche, brought their share of love into the house, and done their part to really make our place a home. It made me wonder why they are denying themselves the joy of furry ones in their lives.

I can't imagine living without our munchkins - granted, they're messy sometimes, we do have dangerously large dust bunnies that roam the hallways on occasion, and a few tiffs tend to break out in the evenings come feeding time - but so what? How does that compare to the many mornings of hugs and kisses, lap warmings as you drink your coffee, evenings snuggled up with a massaging purr-box on the couch, the afternoons of playing with dingle-balls and using old rope for tug-tug.

The more I think about it, the sadder I feel for them. All they can see is the mess and expense - none of the joy and unconditional love.

The fastest way to your dog's heart....

is apparently to get another dog.

Our newest family member was found by a fellow Weekender, wandering down a busy highway, scared, hurt and alone. He was scooped up, taken to the vet, given his shots and a call went out to find him a home.

Well..we'd been thinking of getting our Akita pup Cenau (pronounced Ken-Eye & welsh for Bear Cub) a buddy to play with, as the cats just don't seem to be that interested in playing tug-tug with him (gee, wonder why?), and so we saw the call and said - sure, why not. Let's meet him and see if Cenau eats him or not.

Thankfully, Cenau didn't eat him - he's instead herded him around, cleaned him every morning from top to bottom, escorted him to the best "potty place" in the yard, shared most of his toys (he occasionally sneaks one away and gives it to Daddy to hide from the baby) and sleeps with him at night.

So....it looks like he's staying, which means he needs a good Cajun/Celtic/Welsh name. Because, all of our other furry family members have really good Cajun/Celtic/Welsh names (Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, Calisto, and Maxie - except for Seymour, but there's a story to that one).

And we watched the baby, and thought of name ideas, and tried to come up with somethig that sounded NOTHING like Cenau, so as not to get everyone confused and we came up with....Remy. Granted it's actually Acadian-y Cajun, but still Cajun enough to count. So little Remy (aka stinker) has found a home, and we've found another lovable love sponge to add to the brood.

Another year has come and gone...

It true, the old saying that time goes REALLY slowly when you're young and just ZOOMS past you like a race car on acid as you get older. Another year of my life has come and gone...and what a year it was.

We've made great strides at Pyrth Annwn, our sanctuary in the Ozarks. We've put in roads, cleared out camping areas, created sacred space and made a home away from home for our Weekenders. This year - hot showers (Yahooie!), a well (finally!), electricity (yeah!) and composting toilets to replace the smelly port-a-johns!

I celebrated my seventh year married to the love of my life - my best friend, my soul mate. This year - happily celebrating the eighth year of our adventure together!

Bren and I have moved (again) one step closer to living on the land itself, and not having to drive just to visit. This year - we'll be living there full time by late summer, and celebrating Yule with friends in our new home.

I found my place at the most incredible job ever - doing my first love of marketing/writing, working in a pagan friendly environment, for pagan-friendly people, in the Ozarks, helping non-profits raise more money for their organizations. And I get to wear sandals and shorts to work. This year - continuing to grow and prosper, along with the company so that we can hire more free-thinkers and grow the FundRaiser family.

I celebrated the next step of the journey on our path with my beloved Sister Ahriana, as she welcomed her first group of students to the Hermetic path in a very long time. To come full circle with her was beyond amazing. This year - to watch as my own students blossom, grow and learn on their journey down this path, and to celebrate with them along the way.

We adopted a beautiful puppy named Cenau who has added warmth, hilarity and quite a bit of mischief to our lives. This year - we're expanding the brood and getting another one so Cenau will have a playmate who, unlike the cats, won't spit and paw at him.

So much to look forward to this year, and so much to celebrate from the last. I am truly blessed in this life, and I stand humble before the God and Goddess, my heart full of love and joy for all those I call Family.

The Lure of New Orleans

Ahh....the smell of jasmine, the sounds of quarter jazz coming out of a window, the flash of neon and the taste of fruity cocktails all combine into that which is the French Quarter, New Orleans.

After a 10 hour drive, my three co-workers and I made it to the Sheraton New Orleans, right on Canal street and just two blocks over from Bourbon Street - we had arrived in the home of jazz, and the music was already playing.

It wasn't lost on us that we had left the devastation of a 500 year flood behind us in Missouri to ride into a town that is still recovering from Katrina. But to see this shining, neon pearl of the gulf in it's springtime glory can truly take your breath away, and make you forget about the world for a while.

Bourbon Street is a wild, mixed up scenery of clubs, bars, restaurants and men's clubs - as you walk along, you're assaulted by T-shirt stores, bead shops, feather masks, scantily clad hookers trying to lure you in to their dens, jazz musicians playing a rollicking creole beat, street kids tapping for money or singing acapella for the hell of it, the smells of creole cooking and spices, and the overwhelming smell of the jasmine and plumeria - beautiful scents that lift your spirit and carry you further along the sidewalk.

Go through the Quarter, and you reach Frenchman Street - the true heart of jazz the locals say. Here, away from the neon lights of Bourbon Street, are the small, intimate jazz clubs where the well known musicians come out to play. The Marsalis patriarch was playing one night there, along with his band. And the emphasis was on the music - no distractions from food or lights or scantily dressed women - just the jazz, in it's purest form.

We had time to amble through the Garden District too, with it's amazing old houses and shadows of Anne Rice's vampires lingering in the azaleas...but the spirit here is quiet, laid back, almost dreamy compared to Bourbon Street and the vibrancy of the Quarter.

Between these two famous districts lies the Warehouse District, full of museums and - surprisingly - zydeco, in all its Cajun glory. The self-proclaimed "Home of Zydeco" resides here in a small little bar in the middle of the district, and the most wonderful, toe-tapping music streams forth from the windows and hypnotizes your feet to dance right through the door.

We spent our last day down by the waterfront, ambling through the flea market and seeing the many intriguing ways the local artisans have taken what Katrina left them and made into gold. One man had crafted exquisite pins out of "Katrina-junk" that he found and recycled into art. Many others had heart-breaking prints of what had been, and still others had created beautiful and colorful collages of Katrina aftermath.

These people are amazing, to still have such spunk and spirit - to still love their city and to continue to rebuild bigger and better. They take great pride in their city's comeback, and will gladly share stories and first-hand accounts of the past and the present, while always looking to the future.

On that last day, we met a local woman who lives on the outskirts of the French Quarter. We had stopped to admire her beautifully decorated window, which was graced with colored glass and hanging objects d'art. She came out with her two dogs, intent on walking down to the local grocers and giving "the boys some air."

She was gracious and upbeat, and kind to four travelling Midwesterners who had pretty much camped out on her stoop looking at her window display. It's that friendliness, that upbeat attitude that hooks you - that's what the lure of New Orleans is for me, and I'm anxious to make my way back.

Preparing to plant

The equinox is almost upon us - it's time to take our seeds of potential and prepare them for planting in the mother's soft earth. Have you taken the time to reflect on what you wish to grow this year? Do you know what goals you want to reach come the autumnal equinox? Have you thought of the sacrifices you may need to make along the way?

In our tradition, we choose our seeds at Imbolc/Candlemas, and we keep them safe on our altars or around our necks, so that each day we can instill into them our hopes and dreams for the coming year. And now, as we reach Alban Eilier/Ostara, the time has come to till the soil and plant those seeds. You have to take the time to add nutrients to the soil, remove the weeds, pull out the rocks and be sure your seeds can stretch and breathe and grow.

And I'm not just talking about the potting soil here - you need to look inside yourself - find the weeds of despair and doubt and pull them out now. Root around for any rocks that might cause you to stumble along the way and remove them. Make sure you take the time each day to feel the sun upon your face, and feel its warmth in your heart.

It takes work to accomplish a garden, whether it be a physical one or a spiritual one. Be sure you're ready to be a consummate gardener this turn of the wheel - and watch your seeds sprout into joy.

Countdown to WytcheHaven!

The Strength to Persevere

We drove down to Atkins, Arkansas this weekend, to help friends with clean-up after a devastating tornado hit the area on Super Tuesday, February 5th. Aside from getting a bit lost, and almost running out of gas in the middle of nowhere, we eventually made it down to their house.

Driving in to Atkins as we did, from the northwest, you don't really see much in the way of damage. Twice now we've lived through tornadoes, once when we lived in Vilonia, Arkansas and once when we lived in Morrilton, Arkansas - and both times, it was pretty obvious that a tornado had barrelled through. So, we were a bit surprised at how normal everything looked in town -- until we turned onto our friends' street - and the true extent of the devastation became clear.

Several homes were completely and utterly gone - only concrete foundations remained at one house - twisted vehicles and trailers, and huge oak trees pulled out of the ground and tossed around like pick-up sticks - and every inch of ground covered by the remnants of lives torn apart: pictures, pots, papers, insulations, fencing, pet bowls - all just strewn about.

Utter devastation - it just took your breath away.

Then we pulled into their driveway with our trailer in tow and what do we see? Friends and neighbors, hauling tree limbs, raking up debris, laughing and joking and finding a way to persevere through it all. I don't think I've ever been so proud to call myself a member of community before - to see all of these folks who had driven hours from their homes across the state to come and help out - and bring smiles and hugs, laughter and support. Our friends' house was literally raised off its foundations several times; their bedroom was pretty much obliterated, and their vehicles took a whale of a beating. But they managed to smile and laugh, joke and hug with all of us, even through all of this. Their strength was truly inspirational.

The one tearful part of the afternoon was related to the Grandmother Tree - this beautiful cedar had graced their garden and kept the house safe, and it now lay resting on the ground where it had fallen. We were honored to be asked to take this very special tree and to bring its remains to Pyrth Annwn to become part of the opening revel fire for our next Weekend in May, but as the chainsaws began to bring her to a more manageable size, the tears did flow. It was decided that her base would remain as an altar in our memory garden, so that a part of her would always be in sacred space.

I look forward to next weekend when we can place her there, and decorate her appropriately, for she stands not only for our friends, but for all those who stand up to adversity, and she stands for the love and support of community through thick and thin.

Reverend Whitney's Homework for the Day

My darling friend Whitney occasionally sends out missives from her higher self as daily exercises for meditation work. Below, is the one she sent today and I felt spirit move me to share it with you.

The druids believe that the soul encompasses the far extents of time and space, unencumbered by temporal dimensions. For the Celtic peoples, the physical world is seen to be made up of three elemental dimensions: the depths of the sea, the breadth of the Earth, and the airy regions of the heavens. Fusing these three dimensions together is the fiery Sun, whose diurnal circuit maintains the life of the apparent world.

Each soul lives within the dispensation of these dimensions; but the soul is regarded as yet greater than these, able not only to move through water, earth, air and fire but also to travel beyond these modes into the wider domain of the unseen world. For the Soul, the passage of ages is but a day in cosmic time; there is no sense of time passing, only an eternal present to soul-travelers who enter the otherworld.

When we begin to pay attention to our soul, rather than ignoring its needs and urgings, we experience a sense of inclusion within the Universe. When we learn to pass beyond the limits of our body as soul-travelers, we discover that the constellations and planets that spin within the soul are qualities, intelligences, and allies we have always longed for.

Look into the depths of your Soul, as into the immensity of inner space.
How is the cosmos reflected within your soul? What constellations and planets are featured therein? Within the Solar System of your Soul, what major features do you recognize?

Coming full circle - in Circle

This weekend, I had the honor to stand with my sister in Circle, as we initiated the new members of her coven into our tradition. My sister taught me, so to stand there with her and bring these neophytes through to the start of their journey on this path, brought the circle to completion for me in so many ways.

We often talk about the turn of the wheel when we refer to the year as a whole, the changing of the seasons and the transition from Sabbat to Sabbat - but this time, it truly hit home with me how much these turns impact our lives.

12 years ago, I found this family of coven brothers and sisters, and set my feet upon the path I now walk to this day - one of teaching, learning, growing and changing. In those twelve years, I've gotten divorced, found my voice, lived in four states, found my soul mate, studied at seminary for a year to become an ordained interfaith minister, began teaching my own students, became a Reiki Master, my partner and I bought 43 acres of land upon which to build a future, we started a non-profit Interfaith Foundation and a Pagan Festival in the Bible Belt, I began a blog, and found my stride as a person on this planet.

I have buried friends, familiars and old habits and welcomed new friends and familiars into my life. I have learned to let go, to just be and to find comfort in a good book and a cup of hot chocolate.

I think back on the woman who was me 12 years ago, and the transformation is startling - the mouse has become a lioness. So mote it be.

The Strength of Belief

As we wander through our daily routines, we don't often think about our belief systems, and our faith. We're focused on driving, on work, on balancing the check book and getting something made for tonight's dinner...but how often during each day do you really focus on the strength of your beliefs?

This is something I have vowed to focus on during this turn of the wheel - as priestess, as teacher, as student, as wife - as sister, as daughter, as friend, as journeyor on this planet.

Each day, I am going to make the time to sit at peace with myself, and truly probe the depths of my beliefs and my faith. How much is purely rote? How much would I willingly die for? What would I kill to protect?

Strong thoughts, but ones we have a need to make time for, especially now as the world we know continues to go through amazing transformation - the solar cycle has begun, global warming continues, the ice sheets are melting at a blazing speed, and the winter solstice of 2012 looms on the near horizon. Are we ready for a changed world? Are we prepared? Can we be?

Learning to Breathe

Sounds like a weird title doesn't it? Supposedly, we've known how to breathe since we took our first breaths in this world upon being born. The breathing I'm speaking of are the breaths we need to learn to take when we find ourselves growing frustrated, angry, stymied or just plain pissed. I finally got it yesterday as to how important it is at these particular times to really, deliberately, BREATHE.

I'm a pretty easy going kind of gal, and I can usually let things wash over me without too much getting ruffled. But at work yesterday, I had reached my limit with a particular situation that's been bubbling around in the pot for weeks now...and I truly got mad. Really mad. One step away from downright fightin mad. And it isn't good to get to that point in the workplace...not if you want to keep your job anyway.

And I made myself go outside (into the lovely freezing Missouri winds) and deliberately BREATHE. Deep breath in, slow exhale. Deep breath in, slow exhale. I did that 9 times. I wanted to quit after 5 but made myself keep going through the 9th breath. Guess what?

I wasn't mad anymore. I wasn't even peeved anymore. I looked out over the blue sky, followed the flight of a bird, shoved my hands into my pockets to keep warm, and realized - it really didn't matter. The world wasn't going to suddenly spin out of control, our company wasn't going to nose dive because of this...it needed to be solved, yes. But was it worth getting nutty over? No.

How magickal is that? I went from wanting to punch someone's lights out to wondering what flowers we should plant up at the land - all in 9 slow breaths. I wonder if it will be that easy at tax time? Better plan on 13 breaths for that, just in case.

Thanks Cheri - this should make Brennan happy...

How will I die? Your Result: You will die while having sex. Your last moments in this life will be enjoyable indeed...hopefully. Do not fear sex. Try not to become celibate as a way of escaping death. You cannot run from destiny.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die of boredom.
You will die in your sleep.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
You will die in a car accident.
You will be murdered.
How will I die?

Expressing Gratitude

For those of us lucky enough to have found teachers on our path, and who learned and continue to learn from these guiding lights, and who found new ways to think, to perceive and to cope with life thanks to their teachers' instructions - I talk with you now.

So many of our teachers give of their wisdom freely - no fees, no strings attached - just the pure joy of sharing knowledge, and learning right alongside their students. These teachers are a blessed bunch, and I for one treasure them and all they have helped me to learn and perceive about the world around me.

In the mundane world, people like this would expect - if not outright demand - payment for their services - there would be limits, restrictions, things you'd have to buy to go from one level to the next - people you must or must not associate with, depending on their whims.

We are so lucky that on Pagan paths, it isn't like this - not with true teacher spirits.

I speak of this now because I have the honor of participating in the initiation of one of my teacher's first class of students since she taught my class MANY moons ago - I am to stand with her, in circle, and help her students begin their journey along this amazing road...perhaps one day to become like myself, a teacher with students of their own, who teach for the joy of sharing and growing and learning together.

I am so excited to be making this trip to share in this experience - not only to meet her students and share stories of learning with them, but to tell her of my students and the many joys they have brought to my life. Had I not learned so well, I do not believe I could teach so well now. (At least, I believe I teach well - my students would be the best judge of that.)

To see the living history of our path handed down from one group to the next - what an amazing and wonderful feeling this is. Memories of cram sessions with my fellow classmates, late night calls to my teacher for help, support, and sometimes just to rail at the world with an audience. So many important times in my life have occured since I began this path almost 20 years ago. And I look forward to all the important times yet to come...

My New Year's Wishes for You All

May peace break into your house,
and may thieves come to steal your debt.

May the pockets of your jeans
become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline!!!
May laughter assault your lips!

May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires.
May happiness slap you across the face.

May your tears be that of Joy!!
Any problems you had..May they forget your home address!

In simple words ...May 2008 be the best!
Many blessing to you all...

Holiday Memories

In an attempt to not be a complete scrooge this holiday season, I picked up a $2.00 Stars of Christmas CD at Walgreen's last week. Yeah, I know...I'm such a big spender. But hey, $2.00 for a CD seemed like a pretty good deal, and it advertised songs by Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and more.

Well, that poor CD sat in my car all last week, and I finally put it in yesterday on my way home from work. I was immediately assaulted by the ever plucky Doris Day singing cheerfully about decking the halls with holly - oh boy, I thought - it's Christmas 50's style - great....

It roamed through a swingin Eddie Fisher singing a lounge version of O Come All Ye Faithful, Andy Williams doing his very best to sound pious on Angels We Have Heard On High, Patti Page picking up the beat with a silly yet fun version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas, and then came the beautiful pipes of Kate Smith singing a round of The First Noel/Silent Night/O Holy Night. Now that was worth the two bucks.

Frank's in there singing O Little Town of Bethlehem his way, and Bing Crosby shows up for a rousing rendition of O'Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Then it got to We Three Kings with Jose Feliciano, and all I could think of was the South Park Christmas Special - and I started laughing so hard I almost ran into a ditch.

I recovered in time to hear - of all people - Englebert Humperdink singing Away in a Manger (yes, I'm old enough to know who Englebert Humperdink is...sad huh?)...and then it happened...

Three notes came out of the stereo that instantly transported me back over 30 years to Christmas Eve service at St. Margaret Mary's Church, dressed in my satin Christmas finest, hair all done up with a bow (they were big back then), standing next to my grandfather, who was singing his very favorite Christmas song - in Latin - and he knew all the words. He taught me once, and as the first graceful notes of Ave Maria issued forth from the CD, damn if I don't still remember every single one. It's probably the only Latin I know, and I couldn't even tell you what I'm singing...

But there I am, singing with my Grandpa in church, 8 years old, eyes taking in the heavily candled main altar, the huge nativity scene to the right of the main altar, the stained glass windows, the stations of the cross along the walls, and the beautiful notes of Ave Maria, as sung by Perry Como...and me...and my Grandpa Joe.

What a moment in time to be transported to, and what a blessing - I hadn't thought of my Grandpa Joe in a while, and to be there in that moment with him, it reminded me of all the wonderful musical things he brought to my life, including Opera, the Great Caruso and the beautiful song, Ave Maria.

Here are the Latin words, and below them, the translation in English, so I'll finally know what the heck it is I've been singing all these years...and you will too.

Ave Maria

Gratia plena Maria,

gratia plena Maria,

gratia plena Ave,

ave dominus

Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus

Et benedictus

Et benedictus fructus ventris

Ventris tuae, Jesus.

Ave Maria

Ave Maria

Mater Dei

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Ora pro nobis

Ora, ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Nunc et in hora mortis

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Ave Maria

Listen to Andrea Bocelli here:

http://andrea-bocelli-ave-maria-mp3-download.kohit.net/_/422023

and for those of us who slept through Latin class, the English version (without all the repeated stanzas):

Hail Mary

Full of grace

The Lord is with thee

Blessed art thou among women

And blessed is Jesus

The fruit of thy womb

Holy Mary

Mother of God

Pray for us sinners

Now and in the hour of our death

Amen.

A Story from My Sister - My Solstice Gift to You

My sister, Ahriana, is an amazing woman - always has been, and as we move through life she continues to bring these "a-ha" moments into focus for me. Ahri runs the Colorado Eco-Spirituality Center in Colorado Springs and the center puts out a monthly newsletter. In this month's letter, she included a story about Santa that I just had to share. I highly recommend you check out their site (ahriana.com) and sign up for their newsletter (http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1101545032115). It's full of great information, and stories like the one I've copied in below that have great meaning, even for those of us who live several states away. To the right is a picture of Ahri, her husband Mark, and their two little ones, Rhannon and Ryan.

********

My life, from day to day, is full of interesting conversations. Today was no exception. Across from me, in my office, sat a dear young Heart who timidly asked "Why do we lie to our children about all of this? Why teach them to expect something that just isn't going to be true when they grow up!"

Hmmm - Good question. As our conversation progressed, we explored the whole story. You know the one - big, jolly, rosy-cheeked Bringer-of-gifts who works (with help from Elvin friends) all year to create wonderful things just for us. Initially, I thought; " this sounds like a great way to teach our kids about Spirit - big,loving, Bringer-of-abundance - working (with lots of angelic cohorts) to create for us a beautiful world to share. Sounds very similar, doesn't it?!

Unfortunately, Santa comes with a catch - you must "be good." If you don't, Santa will bring you coal - a black lump of yuck that has very little value unless you own an old fashioned bar-b-que grill! When we consider this, the Santa myth becomes little more than a tool for emotional blackmail. "Better stop pouting - Santa might be watching!" (Though I hate to admit it, I've said it myself!)

And then, if the blackmail were not enough - at about 10 years old or so, our trusting little Ones are confronted with a very harsh reality - "There is no Santa, Sweetie - it's mommy and daddy who buy the presents - but don't tell your brother!" Good Grief! And we perpetuate this every year?! What are we gonna do about this?

Obviously, Santa is a permanent fixture. He's been around for eons and I doubt we can do much to change that. In fact, I am not sure I would want to take away the magic of Santa, even if I could. However, I suggest we rewrite the story a bit. How About this:

Who is Santa, Mommy? "He's one of Spirit's helpers and his whole job is to teach us how to receive in a joy-full way! Now some people think you have to be especially good to get a gift from Santa- but the truth is, Santa loves to give to everybody, and the only thing that stops him from giving is when someones heart is afraid to receive So, your job is to love yourself and to open your heart to all the gifts that are coming your way!"

Can I have everything I want? "In time, you can. Just like Spirit, Santa gives what you are really ready to receive - and receiving takes time. You'll want to have time to play with each gift you've been given, to try it out and see what it will do- and you'll want to make time to be thankful - and when you're thankful, you'll start feeling a big warm glow around your heart. That's called JOY! Joy is something you'll want to give plenty of time to! The best thing is, that big, warm feeling helps to open your heart to even more receiving on another day! That way Spirit can bring good things to you for your whole lifetime!"

And at 10: Mommy - You're Santa, aren't you?! "Remember when I told you that Santa is one of Spirit's helpers? That's true - and yes, it's me. Spirit has been working through me all these years to teach you about the magic of life! If I had told you in the beginning that it was me, you would have missed out on the magic of trusting in someone you don't really know. This way, you had a chance to learn how it works when someone you don't even see every day wants your life to be wonderful! That's what Spirit wants for you, so the story of Santa is one way we teach children to open their hearts to receiving from Spirit.You are so special to me and I want you to have lots of practice at opening your heart to all the wonderful gifts that Spirit has in store for you. We can practice being joy-full together too!

And, did you know that, because you've opened your heart so wide to receive, you are ready to be a helper of Spirit too? This year, you can help me choose the gifts for your little brother - and when its time to share the secret of Spirit with him in a few years - we can do it together!"

Can you imagine how this new story might change the way our children open to the gifts of the Divine? And what about you? What do you believe? What if you don't have to "be good" to live an abundantly blessed existence? What if, every day, all that you need is available to you and all you have to do is open your heart and let it in! What if Spirit is Love - and Spiritual Love has no conditions?

From my family to yours, we send you wishes for a blessed Holy-day season and an amazingly abundant New Year!

Blessed be,

Ahriana

A life remembered

The loving partner of a dear friend of mine is dying from cancer. There are doubts that she will make it to Christmas, or to their 20th anniversary on Christmas Eve. Sasha and Mau have been the type of friends we all have on the edges of our lives - good people, loving people, who either live far away or lead busy lives, and thus we don't get to see each other very often. But when we're together, the smiles and the laughter always ring true.

On Monday, Sasha asked that I work on the Memorial program for Mau, so that it could be in place when the time came. I've been asked to speak at memorials before, as a friend and as a minister, and have even conducted the funeral services of man and beast. But to be given the responsibility of creating a remembrance for someone who has touched so many lives so deeply...this was an honor indeed, and a frightening one at that.

I searched through books and online, and read through my past services for such occasions, and I called on those who knew Mau to contribute what they felt was meaningful to her legacy. I would like to post some of those items here, as I found them to be profound and moving, and hope in some ways, they are inspiring.


I will not live an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I chose to inhabit my days,
To allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on to fruit.

If we measure a life by
the love that flowed through it,
the inspiration that found expression in it,
the joy that took root in it, and
the friends who felt at home in it,
then we can see that Mau's life
was generous and fully lived.


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still,
Treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.

Death is not the end. Death can never be the end.
Death is the road. Life is the traveller. The Soul is the Guide
Our mind thinks of death. Our heart thinks of life. Our soul thinks of Immortality.

I won’t say don’t cry, because we need to cry.
I won’t say don’t be sad, because we are sad.
I can’t say it’s ok, because it isn’t ok,
And I can’t say it’s better now, for her, because how can we know that?

This I do know:
She was a student first.
And what a student she must have been,
To have gathered so much wisdom; to have become, for us,
Our teacher, our mentor, our healer, our counselor, and partner.

A thousand babies were born into her warm, waiting hands,
And still more to them.
A thousand wounds were healed, and
A thousand souls have been mended
by her strong spirit and great wisdom.
So much energy flows from her to us,
And from us to the world.

And so, as she leaves behind the thousands of us
Whom she touched, and we ask ourselves
“What can I do?”
The answer seems to be: share the light and energy she touched us all with.
Her time here with us was not in vain and does not end now.
It has only just begun,
In this moment.

Say What You Need To Say

Lyrics to "Say" by John Mayer

Take out of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walkin like a one man army
Fightin with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for getting older
You better know that in the end

Its better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Why?

Say what you need to say

The Leaf and the Wind - A Fable for the Dark Times

This is one of my favorite stories/fables...it is from the book "Tell Me Another Story," by Lisa Suhay published by Paraclete Press on Sept 1, 2001

The Leaf & The Wind

Leaf looked out across the broad, dawn-pink sky and down over the beautiful Spring garden. The dewy breeze grazed it and left it shimmering, fluttering. As it moved, Leaf saw all the corners of the garden with its flowers, bushes, trees and animals. Leaf stretched to catch every sight and sound. It was a new leaf at the top of a very old tree.

Leaf adored all the elements - wind, sun and rain. But it was in love with the wind. Wind gave it the freedom of motion. Without the breeze it would never have seen the world below or from side to side. Wind rocked Leaf to sleep and shook it awake. Wind made Leaf dance.

Wind whistled haunting tunes through the branches, it whispered and sometimes it even sang. On many days, Wind told Leaf of the places it had been. "All across the Rivers and down to the sea have I been," whispered Wind. On that day, Leaf could even smell the scent of the water and salty places of which Wind spoke.

"High up the mountain to the very door of Heaven today," Wind told, as the fresh clean smells settled down upon Leaf. "I have seen where the Blue-sky ends and birds cease to wing. I have heard the voice of Life itself and it is so beautiful."

Leaf shuddered with the thought of having Life speak to it as it did to Wind. "When will life speak to me?" Leaf asked Wind. The breeze warmed as it blew over Leaf and Wind said softly,
"You can Hear Life's voice in me."

Whenever it blew past, be it a breeze or gale, the little green leaf waved a joyful greeting to Wind - like the hand of a happy child to a loved one. "I will love you for all time," Leaf whispered to the moving air around it. "I could not be happier."

Hearing this promise Tree itself shook and emitted a deep chuckle. "I am glad you are happy now," the tree said. "Enjoy your youth and beauty while you can, for soon enough you will be withered and brown, dry as dust and blown away by the same breeze that stirs your heart today."

Leaf stiffened at these words. The other leaves said nothing. One or two fell like tears before their time, so stricken were they by the sadness. "That is not so!" Leaf cried.

Tree shook again and said, "Oh but it is true. I have seen many, many leaves from many trees - fall and crumble. Your time will come to curse the wind and the way of things. Wind is old and you are young. Ask Wind sometime."

The tree said no more. Leaf tried not to think about what Tree had said. Of course it had heard the stories of how leaves grow old and die, but still it would never be hateful.

That very day, Leaf made a decision. It shouted to the world, "I will Never hate Wind. I will not give in to fear or unhappiness."

Still, the next time Wind came to call, Leaf could not help but ask. "When I become old, dry and brittle will you destroy me as Tree says," Leaf asked. Wind was silent for a long moment. "I will not destroy you my dear one," Wind said. "All Earthly things grow old and dry. That is not my doing."

Leaf was shaking and Wind could see the fear beginning to overtake Leaf. Wind added, "Keep your promise not to give in to hate and sorrow and when the time comes for you to fall, I will be there to catch you. It will be a beginning and not and end for you."

Again Leaf felt strong. "Tell me of your travels," Leaf said. Wind spoke well into the night.

Time passed. Leaf grew and changed. At first it became very big and strong. Then, as the air grew chill, Leaf began to take on the most magnificent colors. First a yellow cast and then little patches of red and gold began to creep across it.

"You are most beautiful today," whispered Wind. "I do not think that of all the leaves in the world there is one to match you." Leaf shook a bit, knowing full well that many of the others had also begun to change and take on different hues. Still, the words brought joy.

"It is the beginning of the end for you and all your kind," Tree said. "Soon now, oh so soon, you will be nothing but a speck in the dirt." All the other leaves began to droop and some even tumbled from their homes early as the weight of that unhappy thought dragged them down to Earth.

Not Leaf. "Words, words, words," Leaf laughed. "You cannot harm me with words. I choose to be happy with my fate. Others choose to be sad. The only one who will be sad when I am gone is you old tree for then who will you talk to?" Tree shook with frustration and anger. "You will see," Tree bellowed. "You will be dirt!"

As days passed Leaf began to feel thin and tired. The bright colors that covered Leaf darkened to brown and Leaf knew its time grew short. Still it would not be sad because each day now Wind told Leaf of the wonderful adventures that were to come.

Just seeing Leaf cling to happiness while all those around it fell made Tree angry. One day it could stand it no more and when Wind came to call, Tree shook for all it was worth and Leaf snapped away from its branch and began to fall.

Tree watched and waited for Leaf to scream and cry, to realize what horror had just befallen it. Instead Tree heard the sound of laughter. One moment Leaf was held fast to Tree and the next it was falling, flipping end over end. "I am flying!" Leaf laughed in pure joy.

"You are falling! Plunging," shouted Tree. "I am soaring like a little bird," Leaf sang out. "See how I go!"

Leaf felt something lift it up. It was Wind come to keep its promise. "I cannot take you far right now, just to rest on the ground. No matter what happens, do not be afraid. I will return for you."
Wind carried Leaf ever so gently to the ground and allowed it to rest there. Leaf could feel the rumble of the roots from Tree as it laughed and said," You see? Now you are ready to become like all the others. It is all just as I said. Just give up now."

Leaf was not stirred to sadness by Tree's words. It did not answer, but lay quietly looking up at the world. It all looked so different now. After a time, Leaf nodded off to sleep and a long time passed before it woke.

Instead of feeling old, stiff and papery, Leaf felt suddenly free to move about. It could hear wind singing softly through the trees and felt itself being lifted and spun higher and higher.

"Did I not promise all would be well," crooned Wind. "You have become the dust of the Earth, so light and so fine that I can carry you anywhere with me."

And so Wind did carry the dust of Leaf and scattered it over fields, onto the backs of birds that flew to mountains and into streams that led to oceans. Finally Wind seeded the clouds with the last few tiny grains that were once Leaf and Leaf came back to Earth with rains and snows.

Everywhere it fell the remains of Leaf brought a grain of pure joy, a drop Of hope and touch of love for wind and life.

One day in springtime Wind rustled past Tree and heard Tree telling all the young leaves about the Leaf that had loved the Wind and perished in the dirt.

Wind came back through Tree singing a breezy tune, "Listen my children, but not to those who tell you that your fate is in the dirt. Listen to me instead. I will tell the tale of how you will become Heaven's Dust. Believe and you will never dread."

If ever you wonder which leaves listen to Wind and not Tree, look up on a stormy day and see which ones wave a joyous greeting and which fall down in sorrow.

Respecting the fact that we're in the dark times

Ah, the holidaze - when we find ourselves rushing around like chickens without our heads...trying to get work wrapped up before the end of the year, making plans to meet with family, figuring out travel arrangements, making time to find a christmas tree and get decorations up, finding that last minute gift...

It's a frantic frenzy of frenetic energy and it goes against the entire meaning of this time of year. At Samhain, we honored those who have passed and we rid ourselves of the dross from the past year. As we approach the Winter Solstice, we're SUPPOSED to be gearing down, not gearing up. Now is a time of reflection - of rest and of decay. The dark times are a chance for us to let go of past events, emotions and unneeded baggage and allow ourselves to truly open up to the divine source as we begin to form our seeds for the coming year.

This is a time when we lose many of those we love to the arms of death and rebirth. It is normal for this to be a time of passing over - for those spirits who are ready to begin anew to leave this earthly plane of existence, in preparation for their reincarnation into the next lessons of a lifetime. They choose to leave us now, at a time of year when we are SUPPOSED to have the time to reflect on what they meant to us, on how they impacted our lives, and how we can best honor them in our own lives moving forward.

We must personally choose to slow down, and to honor the internal wheel within us all - honor ourselves enough to take time for ourselves now. We can choose instead to go running around willy-nilly and completely give up our right to reflection and release, but is that truly how you want to enter the next turn of the wheel?

Sharing Traditions

The holiday season is about to whirl into full-on frenzy with the arrival of Turkey Day. Most folks see this as the advent of stress, bickering, too much food and too much football. But I see it as a wonderful time of Tradition sharing - from favorite recipes for that special feast, to secretly hoarded cookie recipes, even nostalgic trips that occur only at this time of the year, and just because they've just always been done. I've been enjoying the traditions shared by readers on CNN.com today, and it made me think of my own family traditions...

Like the walk through the woods on Thanksgiving Day - for me, growing up in New York, this actually started as a walk through the urban woods of our neighborhood, smelling the crispness of the air, and watching the chickadees and cardinals fight for the best spot on the telephone lines, next to a forgotten pair of sneakers wrapped by their laces around the wire.

It's evolved over the years, as we've moved from state to state and changed from urban areas to country areas. Now we have our own 43 acres to walk through, with our puppy by our side - we get to continue the tradition in our own fashion, and enjoy the wild turkeys, armadillos, hawks and squirrels as we wander through the forests of Pyrth Annwn.

We're starting a new tradition this year - having a feast with friends on our land the Saturday after Turkey Day. A way to kick back and enjoy good food and good company with people we only get to see a few times a year. This is one tradition I truly hope will linger on. What traditions are you celebrating or starting this year?

Keeping perspective

Ever had one of those days when Life decided to clear a few things up for you?

Soft of like when the old Cosmic 2x4 smacks you upside the head and makes you look at the BIG picture, and you immediately stop sweating the small stuff?

It's too easy to get completely wrapped up in the day to day drama, and forget to focus on what really matters - family, friendship, hearth & home. I've found myself slicing through the cellophane wrap of drama recently with my teeth in order to regain that feeling of centeredness and balance, and it's my family and friends who have helped me get there - and I bet they don't even know it.

Isn't that amazing? How a friendly voice on the end of the phone, or a quick hug and smile as you walk through the door, or an e-mail that reminds you how important you are to someone - all these little things have such a big impact on your heart, and your soul. They just make the crazy tornadic stuff dissipate like a puff of smoke.

An e-mail from my sister highlighting the lasting happenings at her center in Colorado brought a huge smile to my face - she's making her dreams a reality, living the path she always strived for. E-mails and phone calls from my students, asking for advice and trusting me with difficult issues reminds me that I have a responsibility of the heart that outweighs any mundane brickabrack that might be impinging from the work world.

How about you? Anything happen in your world lately to bring your perspective into focus?

Dia de Los Muertos

Ah...dia de los muertos - the day of the dead. All hail La Calaca as he sashays through the streets, arm in arm with Santa Muerte and Baron Samedi. On this day, we celebrate the great unknown, the crossing over from life to death, and the rebirth to life again.

Families gather at the graves of loved ones, and share feasts and stories. Children eat sugar skulls and dancers sway to the drumbeats of painted drummers. The guardian spirits of the departed are honored with their favorite foods and libations - homes are decorated and altars are lit with pictures and candles and offerings.

And yet, Dia de Los Muertos is actually three days of celebrations, beginning on the 31st of October and ending today, on the 2nd of November. Those who join the lines of revelers clutch marigolds to their chests, symbols of those whom they remember.

The dead are regarded as protectors of the living, and so their counsel is sought in all family matters. These dead demand good behavior of the living, and they have within their power the ability to reward or punish. So death itself is merely one phase in the life-cycle, a transcendent mutation.

At the cemetery, the people quietly disperse among the cluttered tombstones. Bright garlands of marigolds ornament the graves. A trail of their golden petals leads back on the path to the local village. It is strewn as a beacon, a pathway, especially for the souls of los ninos, the children, the littlest angels.

An ancient race that dwelt in Mexico once wrote, "We only come to dream. we only come to sleep; It is not true that we come to live on Earth." Dia de los Muertos translates that prophecy into a mortal manifestation. And, although we all ultimately travel this adventure of life alone, there are times when you may hear La Calaca, the skeleton of death, laughing quietly behind your back.

Samhain Reflections

The cool air of Samhain is here - yet another turn of the wheel ends and begins anew. The time has come for remembrance, for introspection and for healing.

The Earth is primary, as the Mother exchanges the kiss of power with the God and retreats into the womb to rest and restore. The God dons his antlers and revels in his work of protection and will, for he is our guide through the dark days until the light returns to us.

I remember those we have lost this year, both to the next life and to a different path. Some will return again in time, others in another lifetime.

I think about those who have lost me this year - whom I have pulled away from by choice, or who I have chosen not to fight, but to allow to move on to other journeys that do not include me.

I think of all the new people who have joined my circle this year - the many smiling faces that have come to be known as family.

I give thanks for all those I hold close to my heart, and for all those who hold me close in theirs.

And I give thanks to the God and Goddess for the man who stands beside me - my partner, lover and friend - my soul mate.

This is a time for feasting, for telling stories, for remembering and for honoring. It is a time to slow down, to savor the smells and flavors of the frosty air, to smile as the little ghouls and goblins skip along the sidewalks and pilfer treats from neighboring houses.

Under the moonlight tonight, as the breeze plays on your skin, open your heart to your memories and find a place of peace there - ground yourself in that peace and use it to build your foundation for the coming year ahead.

Learning to Let Go

It's not an easy thing - to trust your gut and just let go....to allow your faith to guide your actions. Even for Pagans, letting go and allowing the universal divine to guide you through rough patches is a difficult exercise. We're so used to taking the lead, taking personal responsibility, being in control.

There are a select few people in my life whom I respect and admire because they have "mastered" the art of letting go. I've seen them remain calm and cool headed, even under extreme pressures. All because they have faith that the divine will see them through, and that the current events had to happen in order for them to learn a lesson and move forward. They somehow manage to really "be" in the moment, to see the lesson at hand, conceptualize it, understand it and learn from it - all the while they're in this maelstrom of things going haywire.

It's something I strive for - this peaceful place of acceptance and learning. I'm a hard headed Aries, and patience, though a virtue, is not one that comes easy to those of us who enjoy butting our heads into walls.

But I'm trying...and I'm learning. Not just about the many lessons I have yet to understand in this lifetime, but I'm also learning about myself, and my capacity for inner peace, and my ability to help others find that place of acceptance and learning, especially when the sky seems to be falling on our heads.

How about you? What's your capacity for inner peace? Is your faith strong enough to just let go?

The Joys of Chosen Family

Home Again, Home Again....

I came home again this past weekend, when my husband and I attended WytcheHaven, a bi-annual gathering of open-minded and loving people in the Ozarks. This place, this sanctuary of Pyrth Annwn, has become my home, and the fellow "Weekenders" have truly become my family, my hearthkin.

Smiles, hugs, shouts of joy, giggles, laughter - all greet you as you drive up the windy road to the check in station and are greeted by the volunteers. More happy shouts and smiles come as you drive the main road, looking for a good camping spot. Even more come as you start to unpack your vehicle, and folks (some whom you know, others whom you are meeting for the first time) come up and offer to help you get settled.

This place has blossomed into a community of like-minded spirits - a chosen family of love and joy. It's been a week now since we left and returned to Mundania, and still my heart is full of happiness, joy, excitement, optimism and levity....how I wish we could meet more than just twice a year.

The sounds of the drums still echo inside of me...I find myself tapping out the beat here at my desk...I can smell the campfires, and in my mind's eye see the dancers as they commune with the flames and salamanders in the revel fire.

Even our young pup, Cenau, wants to go back. Everytime we go out to the cars, he's ready to jump in and head "camping." Ever since we returned, he spends more time outside than in - the pup that used to live stretched out on the floor vent now galavants through our 20 acres like he owns the place.

The freedom of truly being yourself, without fear of judgement or reprisal - to be accepted as you are - how wonderfully liberating that is for the soul, body and mind - how I wish Mundania could instead be like this, so that we could all be one family, one hearthkin.

Finding Your Way

I was on a long (6 hour) road trip to Kansas City the other day with a colleague of mine from the office. When we hit the "no radio" area, she glanced through my CD's and popped in Sting's "Mercury Falling" album.

I hadn't listened to this one in a while and found myself happily humming along through the first few songs, lyrics seemingly coming from the depths of my brain to allow me to sing along in my head. And then we hit the song "Soul Pilot" and I had one of those mini epiphanies that can either make or break your day.

It's a really simple song - basically, Sting is saying to trust your Soul (aka your intuition, gut instinct, etc.) to guide you on your path, whether things are going really well or really badly.

What a simple solution to everyday stress - stop, breathe, listen to your Soul, and move ahead. I think it's actually the Stop part that hangs everyone up - we're so busy getting things done that the idea of actually stopping and standing (or sitting) still for more than 5 seconds seems impossible.

So - I tried it. I've been fretting about a lot of small things lately - we're getting ready to put on a major festival, and with these types of events there are 101 oddball odds and ends that need attending to, and seemingly no time to get them all done. So, as I said, I tried it by stopping - stopping what I was doing, stopping thinking about work, and just clearing my mind. You would not believe how hard that was. Try it - you'll see. Tuning out co-workers, phones, computers, printers, the worries in my head - oy!

I eventually got to a serene place, took paper and pen, and made a list of the small worries that have been eating at me. Then, one by one, I went through each item, and focused just on that one thing - and really listened to myself and to my higher self about it. One by one, I got ideas and ways to move forward, until I'd made it to the bottom of my list. Then I sat back and looked at it - wow - there was a lot of relieved stress and worry on that page - there was direction and potential movement in its place. Pretty darn cool.

So now, I'm not worrying, because I have a plan of action, and my day actually feels lighter and brighter than it did a few minutes ago. What a marvelous feeling of accomplishment. I highly recommend the exercise - it might surprise you.

Musings from the Back Porch

I am lucky enough to work at a pagan-owned company, smack-dab in the middle of the Ozarks, that just so happens to be on the third floor of a building in the city's Courthouse Square. We have a lovely porch out back that looks out upon the vast sprawl of the city and the bountiful greens of the ozark forests beyond.

It's a wonderful place to take a brain-break, relax and watch the last of the hummingbirds fly through, stealing the final sips of nectar from the vines that crawl along our porch railings. We've been fortunate enough at home to have been entertained this summer by these fast flying acrobats - I've marveled at how quickly their young matured, and at the strange and melodious chirpings they make, especially when defending their territory. At the height of our season, we had over 12 hummingbirds fighting over our one measley feeder - the cats (needless to say) spent the majority of their summer with their noses glued to the window.

Today's high flyer on the back porch here at work was alone, quickly and efficiently slurping down the flower sap as it flitted from flower to flower. No rest for the weary it seemed, as he skillfully worked his way along the vine, not missing a single flower that I could see. Made me tired just watching him.

How often do we behave just like him - quickly working through our errands without a second to pause and take in the beauty around us. It made me realize that I had been doing just that all morning - rushing to work, working through meetings, running several errands on my lunch break, then rushing back to work and working through my To-Do lists...all the while completely oblivious to the beautiful weather outside - bright sunshine, azure blue skies, a lovely breeze and cool temperatures - my short break out on the porch has completely managed to reinvigorate me for the rest of the day.

How about you? Been buzzing around at high speed like the hummingbird? Make the choice to allow yourself a moment to catch your breath, breathe in deep and let your shoulders relax. Bet you feel better too!

The Power of Forgiveness

Remember the old adage, "Forgive and Forget"? As children, we're all reminded to forgive, and better yet to forget when bad things happen and move on. I advise a different strategy - "Forgive and Learn."

I don't see how "forgetting", or really just pretending to forget, helps anything. Instead, we should forgive and we should learn from what has taken place, and then move forward. Forgetting seems like a waste, a cop-out.

If we instead Learn from what happened, we at least have a leg up on the situation if we encounter it again. And we've grown - we've allowed ourselves to grow in some way by choosing to learn. When we forget, we choose to stagnate, to stay mired in our feelings of hurt or betrayal.

Be honest - can you ever truly forgive and forget? Isn't it easier to forgive and learn?

Gratitude

Gratitude - saying "Thank You" - giving thanks for the harvest - acknowledging the efforts of a friend, or even a stranger - being grateful you're not alone.

How many times do we take it for granted that people know we are grateful for them - for their help, their wisdom, their advice, their shoulder to cry on, for being a sounding board, for just listening, or for doing something completely unexpected but urgently needed?

What are you grateful for today? Not just grateful for in general, but grateful for TODAY...what's happened today so far that you're grateful for? For myself, I'm grateful to have woken up next to a very sexy pagan man, grateful for my puppy's unabashed lickings of love as I stumbled to the door, for my cat's well-timed jump into my lap as I sipped my coffee so I could give her some well deserved pets. I'm grateful to the man at the stop sign who waved me through, for the coworker who started the coffee this morning so I could grab a cup without having to make a pot.

Do you see where I'm going with this? There are so many little miracles that happen everyday to lighten our lives and lighten the weight the world places on our shoulders. Open your heart, and find the loving gratefulness that's in there, waiting to be unleashed and gifted to all those around us that we're grateful for every day - you'll be amazed how being grateful for others can make you feel better yourself.

Change

The following quote is posted on the wall across from desk...

"change is...to give up what we are to become what we could be."

It's an interesting perspective on the subject - so many times, we see change as merely the denouement of the inevitable turning of the wheel. As time advances, so does change.

What if every change was for a reason? Many of you are sitting there saying, "Well of course every change is for a reason." A Universal reason, yes - I would agree - say hello to the old Cosmic 2 x 4 to the back of the head. But what about a personal reason?

Can you find a personal reason for the changes in your life? Do you see growth in change, or perhaps further stagnation? Do you look for the meaning, or just roll with the punches?

How many times have we missed the point of change?

How many times have we instigated change?

How many times have we run from change, choosing to remain tightly within the cocoon of the familiar?

Is your cocoon getting a bit snug?

Being grateful for the little things

Ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and not wake up til tomorrow? But you have a job, and you need your paycheck, so you drag your sorry butt out of bed, get dressed and present a smile to the world at the office while inside you're wishing you could just turn around and go home?

I had one of those days recently, and the simplest thing turned it all around for me. After slogging through the workday and driving thru traffic, I came home to a HUG. Not a big hug, not an "over the top hug ya til ya can't breathe" hug - just a hug, but it was all I needed. So simple, yet so powerful. Just a little human contact, and a gesture of love and kindness. The whole hug took less than 5 seconds I'm sure. But it completely lifted my spirits.

Am I alone in finding such a small gesture to be such a gift? Why don't we hug more these days? Children hug all the time - watch them next time you're at the park or at a playground. There's an almost constant stream of helping hands, touches on the shoulder and hugs that go on between children. Hugs of encouragement, hugs of laughter, hugs of solace, hugs of accomplishment. When do we stop hugging - and why?

Who have you hugged lately? How did it make you feel? Was it a happy hug or a sad hug? Did you do most of the hugging or did they?

I don't know about you, but I think my hubster is getting a really good hug from me when I get home tonight - just because.

Personal Responsibility

When did the virtue of Personal Responsibility become a piece of garbage easily tossed away into the nearest trash receptacle? Are parents no longer teaching their children the importance of owning up to their actions, and the consequences they bring? Growing up on a grimy street in New York City, my brother and I knew there would be hell to pay if we did something stupid - if we made a bad choice. Our parents told us, our grandparents told us - our teachers reminded us to think before we acted, our pastor told us about accepting the consequences of our choices.

Every day we make choices, both simple and complex. But when did we stop thinking before choosing? How many people do you know who blame past events for their present choices? Who refuse to see their own will at play, instead blaming the will of another who did something to them years ago. Or perhaps they blame "Society" or a bad upbringing - heaven forbid they look in a mirror or recognize that the hand causing the harm is attached to their arm.

Our world is suffering from the lack of personal responsibility people in today's society are expressing - this refusal to acknowledge their role in the destruction of our planet is hampering any efforts to reverse that damage. An Inconvenient Truth and The 11th Hour are great wake up calls that there's a problem - but if no one is willing to fess up to their part of the cause, is there really any way to fix it - or are we already doomed?

Unconditional Love

Isn't it amazing how animals can love unconditionally whereas humans cannot? Are we too evolved to truly let go and love someone completely? Or too self involved?

What is it about our furry friends which allows them to give of themselves so completely? I know there have been many days where I just couldn't have faced the world without a "kitty break" from one of our family of felines. Just those few stolen moments of a living, breathing being, curled up in fits of happiness on your lap, purring contentedly at the fact that you sat still long enough for them to get comfortable.

Why can't we do that as a species? What is it that keeps us from finding that deep sense of connectedness with each other? Are we afraid to love too deeply - perhaps victims of pain from events that happened in our past? How much courage would you need to "take the plunge" and love someone warts and all?

Allowing yourself the time to feel

Our society is such a go-go-go highway of people moving, doing, being...that we sometimes forget to stop and allow ourselves to really feel. I don't mean to stop and smell the roses or look at a pretty sunset. Instead, I mean to really stop for a moment, and ask ourselves - how do I feel? To take the time needed to really look at that - am I sad? I am. Why am I sad? To take the time to process the emotion so that you can allow yourself to move on.

It can be a pretty scary proposition at first. Think about it - if you really stop for a moment, you could have a whole list of emotions riling around in your body that you've pushed to the side to make way for "getting things done", using the excuse of "not having time now to deal with it" or telling yourself you'll "deal with it later." Well, "later" has become now.

Still mad at a friend for a perceived slight? Angry at your spouse for not changing out the toilet paper roll? Mad at the cat for clawing the furniture? Sad about the death of a writer who had a profound effect on you as a teenager?

All these emotions can get completely swirled up together into a smorgasbord of debilitating feelings - and yet society teaches us to push it all aside for a rainy day when you're alone and no one but you can be inconvenienced with it. Why is that? Why shouldn't we be able to help our friends get through these feelings? Why do we have to be alone to face them? Why don't we face them in the here and now, instead of hiding them behind our spleens until the time is right? It's no surprise our country is full of over-stressed people who have completely lost touch with who they are as beings.

Have you?

What do we mean when we say we're spiritual?

Seems like an easy question to answer on the surface, doesn't it? That's the rub...because when your brain starts to form the words for the explanation, it's at that moment you realize how many different tangents you can take.

Are you spiritual? Why are you spiritual? What constitutes being spiritual?

Does it mean we meditate every day, or stop to smell the roses and hug a tree, or just that we feel a connection to....something other than ourselves?

Is community spiritual? That great melting pot of people, beliefs and joy that meld into community would seem to be an outward expression of spirituality in it's purest sense, and yet that same community can dissolve in backstabbing, bad feelings and remorse. So fragile...

...is spirituality so fragile? Do we have to work everyday to remain spiritual? Is it something we have to renew as we wake each day or something that is always there, just waiting for us to reach out to it?

What if we don't make the choice to reach? Will our higher selves reach for us?

"Power Over" disease

Why is it that paganism today is swamped with individuals full to the brim with "Power Over" disease? They want Power Over others, power over their local communities, power over their covens, power over events in the area....where in "Do what thou wilt so long as it harm none (including yourself)" does it say...but oh yes, you can completely run someone else's life, or rule by intimidation, or evict people from a group or community because they don't believe exactly as you do? I am so tired of those petty, insecure individuals who feel they MUST be THE ONE and ONLY pagan in their area - that they have to be some kind of "clearing house" for the community at large, needing to provide their stamp of approval on everything.

Why aren't more pagan leaders standing up to these blowhards and protecting the young novices who don't have a clue? How can you sit by and allow this to continue? Why do pagans refuse to "get involved" - afraid of a witch war? scared of being "outed"? Guess what, if we don't protect our true paths, we'll have nowhere safe to walk on this journey. It's time to stand up, be heard, be fearless - and walk the walk that is our faith and belief. Time to put these overbearing dimwits on their butts and out of our communities for good.